Nationality - Page 14

Mama bear, papa bear, and baby bear were having a great time chasing vacationers in a car as they were visiting Yellowstone National Park.
"Daddy?"
"Yes, Baby Bear?"
"I think we could be doing a better job of scaring these vacationers."
"But Baby Bear," Mama Bear injected. "What more can we do?"
"Maybe we'd have more of an effect on them if we got out of this car and started chasing them on all fours!"

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I think our country doesn't want us free; I think they want us sedated. You know, so we don't notice things -- like who's running it.

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Nationality Jokes

They want to keep foreign threats out of the U. S. I have a solution. I think we should put a velvet rope around the entire U. S. border and hire nightclub bouncers to guard the country. No, seriously, 'cause nobody takes their job as serious as a night club bouncer. If you're not on the guest list, you're not getting into the country.

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Nationality Jokes

She said, 'Where are you from?' And I said I was Irish. And she said to me, 'Oh you're Irish, are you? You'll be needing this.' And she left the drinks trolley down beside me.

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Nationality Jokes

Why did Clemson choose orange as a school color?…
So that the football team could wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up garbage for the rest of the week. …
…
Why did O. J. Simpson go to Raleigh, NC in the Ford Bronco? …
He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner. …
…
What are the longest three years of a Duke player’s life?
His freshman year.
Why did Georgia Tech replace the grass in its football stadium with astroturf?
They didn’t want the cheerleaders to graze at halftime.
Why do Wake Forest cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off the uniforms.
How do you get a Maryland graduate off your porch?
Pay for the pizza.
How many Florida State freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because that’s a sophomore course at Florida State.
What’s the difference between the Florida Gators and a dollar bill?
You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
How do you castrate a Tennessee Volunteers fаn? A: Kick his sister in the mouth.
What does a Syracuse fаn do when his team has won the National Championship?
He turns off his PlayStation 3.

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School Jokes Nationality Jokes Police Officer Jokes

I rang up the National Security Agency a few minutes ago and they put me on hold after greeting my call. …
…
“Thank you for calling the NSA. Your call is very important to us.”

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Nationality Jokes Political Jokes

I'm not your typical black comedian. I don't do a lot of jokes about white people. I'd like to, but I was born in Denver, Colorado.

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Nationality Jokes

When he was describing the people who ride the number seven train, I thought he was personally talking about members of my family.

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Nationality Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

Just like to start out, if I might, by mentioning up front that I'm German. I know there's a lot of baggage that goes along with my saying that. I know as soon as I say it, right away everyone's thinking, 'Oh my God, this guy is gonna be funny.' What if I'm not? What if I'm not as funny as some of the other German comics you've seen before?

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Nationality Jokes God Jokes

I know exactly how every single Asian in the audience felt because you looked at me like, 'Oh God, please be funny. Please be funny.' Before it was just comedy, now I'm doing it for the nation. It's political. Now I do a punch line, I'm like, 'Yeah, take that, whiтеy! Ha!'

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Nationality Jokes God Jokes Political Jokes Single People Jokes

I'm English, but I want to let you know that even though I'm English, I'm not here to solve a мurdеr mystery.

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Nationality Jokes

Mexicans work hard, brother. They work harder than everybody. Mexican's have the strongest work ethic on earth. If Mexicans had been slaves, slavery would've been over real quick because they'd have done 300 hours of work in about nine hours and still have time for a soccer game.

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Office and Work Jokes Nationality Jokes

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

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Nationality Jokes

A three-fer:
What do you get when you cross a former vice president with a slasher film?
An Al Gore-fest!
What do you get when you cross a former "90210" actress with a national youth contest?
A Tori Spelling-Bee!
What do you get when you cross a presidential candidate with a wind instrument?
A Donald Trump-pet!

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Nationality Jokes

I'm actually from the Caribbean island St. Lucia, and the thing is, growing up there, it was like all black people, man. I spent most of my life thinking that a racist was just a very fast person.

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Nationality Jokes Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Not only am I a New Yorker, but I'm also a Jew, so there's like a chance in Неll I'll ever be happy.

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Nationality Jokes

How can you not love the Spanglish? I love it -- twice the vocabulary, half the grammar.

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Nationality Jokes

My doctor said that I should watch what I eat so I’ve decided to go to the Grand-National!

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Nationality Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes

A man went to get the results of his illness from the doctor..
“I’m afraid you have Yellow 42 - a disease so rare it doesn’t even have a proper name.
Bad news is.. you only have six months to live…”
The man goes home and tells his wife.
After the crying, she vows to spend more time together for the final few months together - starting tonight at the bingo hall.
So they both go down to Gala Bingo Hall. In the entrance way he puts a pound in the slot machine.. and wins £200.
He plays bingo and wins every line, corner and full house.
He then plays the national link and wins £20000.
Upon receiving the money the MC says “you must be the luckiest man alive.
You win £200, all the bingo money and £20k national.”
The man says “I have Yellow 42”
“Fuск me” says the MC, “you’ve won the frickin’ raffle as well”

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News and Politics Jokes Nationality Jokes Money jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Latin women will start moving 30 seconds before there's music. It's like a cat before an earthquake, man -- 'Hang on, there's music coming, I know there is, waiting a second -- there it is!'

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Jokes about Women Nationality Jokes Men jokes