Nationality - Page 13

Total UK National Debt …. £1.3 trillion.
Total number of people in the UK unemployed …. 6.3 million
Cost of hosting London 2012 per UK taxpayer …. £550
Watching Mr Bean play the Piano …. Priceless

0 0

Juan Valdez names his mule after you. You chew on your roommate's fingernails. You can jump-start your car without cables. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. You can't remember your second cup. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. Starbucks has a mortgage on your house. Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia. You don't sweat - you percolate. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.

0 0

Nationality Jokes

No matter what the issue is, he has the pat African American answer. He's like the black See and Say, just pull the string:
'The cops were murderers.'
'O. J. was innocent.'
'I like "Moesha."'

0 0

Nationality Jokes

Granddaughter: It’s March 14th grandpa, national “pi” day.
Grandpa: I love pie!
Granddaughter: Not that kind of pie grandpa, I’m talking about a formula!
Grandpa: Back in my day we called it a recipe!
Granddaughter: Graaaand Paaaa, not that, it’s a mathematical formula, you know an equation.
Grandpa: That’s the problem these days, everyone makes things so complicated. In my day we used things like cups, teaspoons and tablespoons. We didn’t need math if we wanted to bake a pie.
Granddaughter: Oh, I see your point! So what would you like, apple or cherry pie?
Grandpa: Finally, a young person who actually understand things.

0 0

Nationality Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Math Jokes

I was opening a show for Huey Lewis once, right? We get to this venue; the last big act that was there before the Huey Lewis show was Clint Black. We get downstairs to the dressing room -- sure enough, on one of the dressing room doors there is a sign that says 'Clint Black.' And I'm thinking, 'Is that my name and a brief description?'

0 0

Nationality Jokes

I'll take anybody's day off to party. I'm serious -- I'll take David Duke Day off.

0 0

Nationality Jokes

One day while I was in Italy, I visited some old Roman ruins, and for no reason I could figure out, these ruins had a maintenance department. How do you maintain a ruins? What, does a foreman come in at nine o'clock and go, 'Fellas, leave it the way it is. I'm going to take the rest of the day off.'

0 0

Nationality Jokes

Thank god a Scottish horse won the Grand National !!
Or Sturgeon would have asked for a вlооdy Re-Run

0 0

Nationality Jokes God Jokes Political Jokes

So, it's National Coming Out Day. I'm walking through Dallas/Fort Worth airport. I got my National Coming Out Day t-shirt on 'cause I'm proud -- got a sweatshirt on over that 'cause I'm smart.

0 0

Nationality Jokes Dirty jokes

I just got back from another country. Just got back from the south Bronx. Dogs bark in Spanish over there.

0 0

Nationality Jokes

My family actually had an intervention. They were like, 'Hey, listen, we're Irish Catholic. What's this quitting sh*t? You're breaking your father's heart. Your sister's getting married in two weeks. There's an open bar. Cut the sh*t.'

0 0

Nationality Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

Out of nowhere she tells me that Oliver Stone -- you know, the director -- she's like, 'He has this huge Asian fetish, and I find it totally offensive.' And I'm like, 'Why, Kwan? That sounds awesome.' She's like, 'I'm offended because I'm Asian.' And I was just like, 'Well, I'm sorry, but I didn't even notice that. I thought you were just really tired.'

0 0

Nationality Jokes

I want to take one of those English as a Second Language courses -- just go in and вlоw everybody away on the first day.

0 0

Nationality Jokes

Talk to each other, that's how you do it. We talk to each other, and we ask each other questions. They might be awkward questions, but that's how you get the ball rolling. Like, you can say, 'Hey white man, how come you're so tense and afraid?' Then he can say, 'Hey black man, how'd you get into my apartment?'

0 0

Nationality Jokes Men jokes

I have no problem with illegal immigration in this country, except for the fact that they don't serve on jury duty. That's horse sh*t. It should be the other way around -- they should serve exclusively on jury duty. Then it finally would be a jury of one's own peers. It's not a stereotype if it's always true; then it becomes law.

0 0

Nationality Jokes

White people will go anywhere. They don't care. It's like, 'C'mon, let's go! It'll be fun!' See, black people, we can't just roll out like that, man. We gotta ask questions before we go, like, 'Is there gonna be a lot of cops up there?'

0 0

Nationality Jokes Men jokes

I had one boss who used to say to me, 'I don't see color. I don't care if you're white, black or purple.' Purple? Really? You don't care if someone's purple? 'Cause that's gonna set off some alarm bells for me.

0 0

Nationality Jokes

My grandmother watches Spanish news, the news called 'Premier Impacto.' If you've never seen this news, this is the most gangster news on TV. You know how you know it's different from all the other news? The reporter gets there while the сriме is still in progress.

0 0

News and Politics Jokes Nationality Jokes

How do you know when you're in burning Roman phase? When gladiator shows are really big on TV -- isn't that a warning sign?

0 0

Nationality Jokes

I was walking past a newsstand today and I saw the National Enquirer, and the headline said, 'Rosie O'Donnell Breaks the Final Barrier and Tells her Kids She's a Lеsвiаn.' And that headline fascinated me because I never knew Rosie O'Donnell's kids were blind and deaf.

0 0

Nationality Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes