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School Jokes

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Why did Jeffrey Epstein's English teacher fail him?
Because he never finished his sentences...

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School Jokes

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today. I hope there's no pop quiz.

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School Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Teacher: Will any idiот in the room stand up please?
(a student stands up)
Teacher: Why do you think you are an idiот? Student: actually I don't, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.

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School Jokes

It was the first day of school. Harry's mother went into his bedroom and said,
"Come on Harry, get up now. You have to go to school today."
"But I don't want to go to school," replied Harry, "I want to stay in bed. Why do I have to go to school"?
"Because," answered his mother, "you're a teacher!"

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School Jokes

Teacher:
"Where was the Constitution of India signed?"
Student:
"At the bottom of the page!"

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School Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

An English teacher told his students that when pronouncing a word beginning with the letter "H" they should ignore the "H" as in hour, honor, and honest. That day when leaving for class, he left a note for his assistant, "Please heat my rice for me." When the teacher returned to his office, he met an empty bowl. He asked the assistant, "Where is my food?" The assistant replied, "You said I should heat the rice for you, but you also instructed us to ignored the 'H.'"

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Food Jokes

Teacher:
"What is the future tense of the statement:
'I had killed a thief'?"
Student:
"You will go to jail."

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School Jokes

One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand. The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. "But Miss, I am bursting to go," said Jimmy. "You may go, but after you say the full alphabet."
"A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z," he said. Catching his mistake, the substitute asked,
"Jimmy, where is the 'P?'" He answered, "Halfway down my legs, Miss."

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School Jokes

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says,
"Why is that, Angus?"

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School Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Teacher:
"Why are you so late?"
Student:
"Someone told me to go to hеll."
Teacher:
"Why did that make you late to class?"
Student:
"I couldn't find it at first, but now here I am."

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School Jokes

Teacher: What is the value of Pi?
Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

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School Jokes

Things I never learned in High School:
1) how to do taxes
2) anything to do with banking
3) how to do loans for college
4) how to buy a car / house
5) how to jump start a car
But I'm so glad I know the f*cking Pythagorean Theorem.

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School Jokes

What is white when it's dirтy and black when it's clean?
A chalkboard.

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

A mother went to pick up her daughter from elementary school and found her doing handstands against the wall. When they got into the car, the mother said,
"Darling, I wish you wouldn't do that because the boys can see your раnтiеs."
"Okay, mommy," the little girl replied. The next day, the mother noticed her little girls hands looked dirтy, so she asked,
"You haven't been doing handstands again and letting those boys see your раnтiеs, have you?"
"Oh no, mummy," the daughter replied. "Honestly! I took them off first."

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gаy. The father says,
"Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies,
"Yeah, but he's so cute!"

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says,
"Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies,
"Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says,
"Don't change the subject!"

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School Jokes Money jokes

Teacher:
"I asked you to draw a соw and grass, but I only see a соw. Where is grass?"
Student:
"The соw ate the grass, sir."

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

Teacher:
"Name a bird with wings but can't fly."
Student:
"A dead bird, sir."

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

*Throws pencil at kid*
Elementary: Ow! That hurt! I'm telling on you!
Middle school: Dамn bro, stop.
High school: WТF? *Throws pencil at you*
College: FUS RO DAH *Throws desk at you*

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

My high school basketball coach told me I'd never make it to the NBA...
What he really said was "Dylan, You're not black", but I knew what he meant.

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School Jokes