United airlines jokes

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Look on the bright side, United Airlines. After this incident, you'll never have to worry about a flight being overbooked again.

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United airlines jokes

Breaking News: In a press media instruction, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz has expressed…
“Since we can’t beat our rivals, we have depended on beating our clients”.

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United airlines jokes

What’s the contrast between Game of Thrones and United Airlines?
One has winged serpents and different has drag-offs

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United airlines jokes Game of thrones jokes

It’s a disgrace Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her coronary episode.
On the off chance that she was on another aircraft there might have been a specialist ready.

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United airlines jokes

Things that will get you commenced a United Airlines flight:
1)Wearing tights.
2)Having a United Airlines ticket.

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United airlines jokes

Did you catch wind of the honor United Airlines just got?
They were casted a ballot best in Chinese takeaway!

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United airlines jokes

United Airlines flight attendant:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our Captain has landed in Seattle. From all of us at United Airlines we'd like to thank you for flying with us today and please be very careful as you open the overhead bins as you may be killed by falling luggage that shifted during our so called "touch down."

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United airlines jokes Aviation Jokes Military Jokes

"Can someone drag me United style off this gоddамn plane?"
- Passengers on flight where Kenny G gave an impromptu performance.

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United airlines jokes

Snitches get stitches. And so do our economy class passengers.
#NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

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United airlines jokes

Get Rich or Die Flying
#NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

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United airlines jokes

United Airlines - How will we ever recover?
Sean Spicer - Hold my Pepsi

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United airlines jokes

United Airlines pilot reiterating mask rule.
"Wear it except eating or drinking. And no that does not mean putting a water bottle on your tray for 4 hours and claiming you are drinking."

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United airlines jokes Aviation Jokes Pilot Jokes

At Bozeman airport, a United Airlines reservations agent called in a police officer to deal with Ted Cruz being verbally abusive.
Maybe Senate Judiciary chair Diск Durbin should consider doing the same.

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United airlines jokes Aviation Jokes

British Airways passengers hit with delays after IT failure. United Airlines offers to beat the shiт out of them for free.

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United airlines jokes

Okay, Ted Cruz's United flight 1015 just landed at Houston Intercontinental Airport. How many reporters are waiting along with his driver outside customs?

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United airlines jokes Aviation Jokes

United Airlines says any employee who doesn't get vaccinated by Sept 27 will be terminated or put on unpaid leave.
Remember that flight attendant spiel "Your safety is our number 1 priority?"
United's actually acting like it.

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United airlines jokes Aviation Jokes

Americans should unite in our hatred of United Airlines.

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United airlines jokes American Jokes

United Airlines is requiring all their employees to be vaccinated against the coronavirus.
Now they just need to protect their employees from their passengers.

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United airlines jokes

United: You don't need a window seat to see stars.
#NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

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United airlines jokes

United Airlines better call in an expert to help them cover up the мurdеr of a dog.
Hey, Mike Huckabee! You up?

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United airlines jokes

Republicans are proposing a boycott of United Airlines because of their vaccine mandate.
I'm all for it. If republicans want to really hurt us, they should boycott all airlines. And hotels. And restaurants. And grocery stores. And comedy shows. And elections.

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United airlines jokes Hotel Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Hey United Airlines, we’ll take your 1960s dress code seriously when you stop charging $15 for a sandwich that tastes like regret.

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United airlines jokes

I wish that United Airlines employee would forcefully remove Trump from the White House.

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United airlines jokes American Presidents Humor

Sean Spicer is just trying to distract us from United Airlines which was a distraction from Pepsi which was a distraction from Russia.

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United airlines jokes