Waiter Jokes, Waiters Jokes

Q: Have you heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
A: There’s no menu; you get what you deserve.

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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup."
Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Benny had told all his friends about the delicious steak he'd eaten in the Delancey Street restaurant the day before. So they decided to go down there and see if it was really as large and delicious as he said.
But, much to their disappointment, the waiter brought them the tiniest steak they'd ever seen."
See here, my good man," Benny barked. "I was in this restaurant yesterday, and you served me a big, juicy steak, and now today, when I've organized a party and highly recommended this place, you serve such a small one."
"Yes, sir," replied the waiter. "But yesterday you were sitting by the window."

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Waiter Jokes Restaurant Jokes

A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Old People Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes

The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water.
I decided to tell the waitress.
"This soup is awful," I said.
"I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes

Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night.
Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.
Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!"
The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"

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Waiter Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Restaurant Jokes

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Police Officer Jokes Lawyer Jokes Restaurant Jokes

A man asked for a meal in a restaurant.
The waiter brought the food and put it on the table.
After a moment, the man called the waiter and said: "Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"
"Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Life Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Customer: "Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?"
Waiter: "Can’t you tell the difference by taste?"
Customer: "No, I can’t."
Waiter: "Then does it really matter?"

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes

Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know."
Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone."
Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes

Customer: "Waiter, do you serve сrавs?"
Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!"
Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Vulgar jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes

A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle.
When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish.
The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow.
The diner agrees.
The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the теsтiсlе dish.
When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small.
He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".

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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Guy goes every day to the same diner, looks over the menu, and always orders the same thing: ham and eggs. Every day, the same thing: ham and eggs. Waitress decides to play a trick on him and scratches it from the menu.
He comes in, she says, "You know that thing you like so much? I scratched it."
"Well, wash off your hand and get me some ham and eggs."

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Waiter Jokes Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes

A couple goes to a restaurant and the wife excuses herself to go to the bathroom. In the meantime, the waiter approaches to take their order.
The husband says, “I’ll have a вееr.”
The waiter asks: “And what about your wife? Do you want a вееr for her?”
Man: “You know what, that’s a fair trade. Deal!”

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Waiter Jokes Good jokes Beer Jokes Restaurant Jokes

A guest calls the waiter: “Please try my soup.”
Waiter: “What’s the problem? Too salty?”
Guest: “No. Just try my soup.”
Waiter: “What then, is it too cold?”
Guest: “No. Please try my soup.”
Waiter: “Is it too hot?”
Guest: “No it isn’t. Can you just please try my soup already?”
Waiter: “But there’s no spoon.”
Guest: “Finally!”

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Waiter Jokes

Guest to a waiter: “I’m actually quite sorry we haven’t discovered your restaurant earlier.”
Waiter: “Oh, that’s nice. So you liked it here?”
Guest: “No. But earlier, that meat might have still been OK.”

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Waiter Jokes Restaurant Jokes

Guest to the waiter:
“Can you bring me what the lady at the next table is having?”
Waiter:
“Sorry, sir, but I’m pretty sure she wants to eat it herself.”

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Waiter Jokes