Vegetarian jokes

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Q: Why do vegetarians give good head?
A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.

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A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are gross!"
I said,
"People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."
Credits to Adele Cliff, from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Link in the comments

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I trapped a couple of vegans in my basement.
At least I think they're vegan. They keep shouting 'lettuce leaf!'

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A vegan said to me, people who sell meat are disgusting
I replied, people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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What's the toughest part of being a vegan?
Apparently keeping it to yourself.

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Why don't vegetarians moan during sex
Because they don't wanna admit that a piece of meat makes them happy.

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Yo momma is so vegan and fат...
.. That she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.

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Did you hear about the vegan transgender?
He was a herbefore.

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An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar...
I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.

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What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?
Skinning the vegan.

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I'm 95% vegan now...
Basically, I'm vegan all the time. Except when I'm eating

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Why did the vegan cross the road?
To tell someone he was a vegan.

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A stranger just came up to me and told me she was vegan...
I swear I've met herbivore

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So I met a vegan.
I'd finish the joke, but she's still talking.

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This girl was handing out vegan pamphlets when she said she recognized me
I said I never met herbivore

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Vegan Lobster

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First date with a vegan

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An Atheist, a vegan and a CrossFitter walk into a bar. How do you know?

They'll tell you.

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