Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes

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A crossfitter, an atheist, and a vegan walk into a bar
I only know because they told everyone.

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The сliтоris has over 8000 nerve endings
But it's still not as sensitive as a vegan on social media

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First rule of Vegan club:
You tell everyone about Vegan club.

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Show me a man who calls himself a vegan,
... And I'll show you a man who's trying to shаg a vegan.

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A vegan friend's status said if we had to кill...
A vegan friend's status said if we had to кill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat.
I think if he had to build his own computer he'd wouldn't whine on Facebook.

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What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan?
Saladdin.

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I was on a vegetarian diet then I switched to vegan.
The lack of protein in their diets make them a lot easier to catch

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I could never eat a vegan burger
I don't believe in cannabalism

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What does a кinкy vegan say?
Artichoke me.

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Talking to a vegan today
I was talking to a vegan today and they said :
"I think butchers or anyone who sells meat is disgusting ! " to which I replied "well I think people who sell fruit and veg are grocer"

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What do vegan gluten-free people miss the most?
Friendship

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My Aunt had a baby. She gave it to me to hold it.
I responded “No thanks, I’m a vegan.”

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You know what to say if you ever have to break up with a vegan?
It's not you, it's meat.

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A couple is on holiday in another country. They are getting on a bus together. The husband tells the wife:
\- See? In this bus there's a gamer, a feminist and a vegan.
\- So... What makes you think you know that?
\- They already told me!

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There is a vegan in my school
I have no beef with them

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An athiest, vegan, and cross fit mother walk into a bar.
We know this because they all announced it during their first five words they said to anyone
My friend told me this and I laughed so hard

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How do you turn an idiот into a nutritionist?
Tell them you're vegan

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A vegan, an atheist and a mobile dev walk into a bar
You might have already noticed that...

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