What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in wet cement?
Not enough cement.
Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?
Yeah, it comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.
What's the problem with lawyer jokes?
Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetery.
Where can you find a good lawyer?
At the city morgue.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz full of lawyers?
The porcupine has рriскs on the outside.
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