American Presidents Humor

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News and Politics Jokes American Presidents Humor
As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations.
Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, ''One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette.'' A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms. ''I have come, my comrade, to try your game.'' ''Very well. Come with me.'' Umballa took his friend before six, buck-nакеd bush women. ''Pick one. Any one. And she will give you a вlоwjов.'' ''But my friend, where is the danger in this?'' Umballa replied with a toothy smile, ''One of them is a cannibal.''
Η ρωσική ρουλέτα... Турска, френска, индийска, американски рулетки Видове руска рулетка: O embaixador americano conversava com um diplomata africano que elogiava os russos: — Eles construíram uma hidroelétrica, um aeroporto, um estádio, ensinaram-nos a beber vodka e jogar roleta russa.... Een Afrikaanse ambassadeur van een klein Afrikaans landje gaat op bezoek in Rusland. Hij wordt daar natuurlijk opgevangen door zijn gelijke: een Russische ambassadeur. Die verwent hem een week lang... The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and... Russisk roulette: seks kamre i pistolen, én patron. Afrikansk roulette: seks hytter med afroditter med munden klar, den ene er kannibal. Dansk roulette: seks hotelværelser med villige damer, den... Руска рулетка: барабан за шест патрона, пет празни и един пълен. Датска рулетка: шест хотелски стаи с жени, в едната е тъщата L’ambassadeur français d’un pays africain a été invité chez un diplomate du cru. Tous les deux discutent des récents progrès réalisés dans le pays ces dernières années, alors que les russes étaient... Un tip se rataceste prin jungla africana, si la un moment dat este capturat de canibali. Seful tribului ii da o sansa de scapare: - Daca vrei sa traiesti trebuie sa treci o proba! - Orice numai nu... Un european ajunge la un trib izolat din Africa si seful de Trib il ia sa-i arate atractiile locale. intr-o vale, mai la dos, Era un scaun turnant, imprejurul caruia stateau pe pamint Sase negrese... - Vet du vad afrikansk roulette är? - Ja, du sitter i en kolsvart hydda med sex mörkhyade brudar som ska suga av dig, men en av dem är kannibal. Ο πρέσβης της Ρωσίας σε κάποιο Αφρικανικό κράτος και ένας ντόπιος διπλωμάτης συζητάνε για την τεχνογνωσία που το κράτος είχε πάρει από τη Ρωσία. "Εργοστάσια, δρόμοι, αεροδρόμιο και Ρώσικη ρουλέτα"...
News and Politics Jokes Aviation Jokes American Presidents Humor
Men vs Women Jokes American Presidents Humor
Men vs Women Jokes American Presidents Humor
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is MAD that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is BOILING mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these вiтсhеs would keep their
mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?!?!"
Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"
Kids Jokes School Jokes American Presidents Humor
While undrеssing for bed one night, Bill Clinton notices a red rash around his "thing." Alarmed, he thinks, "I can't let Hillary see this!", and makes a point of getting to his doctor at Bethesda Naval Hospital, the very next day.
"Doc," he says, "I've got this red ring around my, you know. What is it, and how do I get rid of it?"
The doctor says, "Well, I'm not exactly sure what it is, but take these pills for a week, and see if that takes care of it. If not, come back and we'll try something else."
Bill takes the pills for the week, but unfortunately, the red ring is still there after 7 days. He goes back to his doctor and tells him the pills didn't help.
So the doctor prescribes another medication, capsules this time, and gives him the same instructions. Take them for a week, and come back if it's not improved.
Bill takes the capsules for a week, and dамn rash is still there. So he goes back to his doctor and asks, "What next?" The doctor gives him a cream in a tube this time. "Rub this on every day for a week, and let me know."
Bill goes back in a week and says, "Great news, doc! The rash is gone! That stuff in the tube was wonderful! What was it?"
The doctor replied, "Lipstick remover."
Red Ring Alors que Bill se déshabillait pour aller au lit, Hillary l'attendant, il se rend compte avec stupéfaction qu'une sorte d'anneau rouge sur la peau entourait sa zigounette. Il se mit au lit avec... Rød ring En mand går til lægen og siger: "Doktor, doktor, vær sød at hjælpe mig. Jeg har et problem." Lægen undersøger manden og ser, at han har en rød ring omkring sin penis. Lægen giver ham...
Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
Кил Бил Σε μια δημοσκόπηση ρωτήθηκαν οι Αμερικανίδες αν θα έκαναν σεξ με τον Κλίντον. Querendo tirar proveito da situação, uma revista sensacionalista resolveu fazer uma pesquisa entre as cidadãs americanas, perguntando se elas gostariam de fazer sexo com o presidente Bill Clinton.... Women in Washington DC were asked if they would have sex with the President. 86% of those responding said, ''Not again.'' Washingtonissa kysyttiin kahdeltatuhannelta satunnaisesti valitulta naiselta mielipidetiedustelussa: - Menisittekö sänkyyn Presidentti Clintonin kanssa? Naisista 70% vastasi: - En enää toista kertaa. Întrebare adresată unui lot de 1000 femei americane: "Aţi vrea să vă culcaţi cu Bill Clinton?" 80% dintre ele au răspuns: - Nu m-aş culca din nou cu el… A recent poll of 2000 women asked the question: Would you sleep with Bill Clinton? 94% responded Never again" " " In Washington DC wurde eine Umfrage zu folgendem Thema gemacht: 100 Frauen wurden gefragt, ob sie mit Bill Clinton Sex haben wollen. Zwei antworten mit "ja", zwei mit "nein" und 96 " nie wieder"... In den USA wurden alle Frauen befragt, ob sie mit Bill Clinton ins Bett gehen würden. 70% sagten: "Nicht noch einmal!"
Political Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes American Presidents Humor
♥Sex Language♥
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?"
She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?"
The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure and says, "What?" The man repeats his gestures, mouthing "EYE KNEE - THE RAKE."
The wife replies that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left вrеаsт, then she points to her вuтт, and finally to her crotch. Well, there is no way in hеll the man can even come close on that one.
Exasperated, he goes upstairs and asks her, "What in the heck was that?"
She replies, "EYE - LEFT ТIТ - BEHIND - THE BUSH"
Dirty jokes American Presidents Humor
Relationship Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes American Presidents Humor