Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Help. I Lost My Crippled Turtle.
Where do you find a turtle with no arms and no legs? Wherever you put it, duмваss.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What is a fish's favorite game show?
A: "Name That Tuna."

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Animal Jokes

What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a shih tzu?
Bullshit!

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Animal Jokes Vampire jokes

One day in a small redneck town in the middle of nowhere sat a lonely bartender in an empty bar.
As he was getting ready to close down, three ducks walked through the front doors. They waddled on over to the bar and grabbed a stool. The bartender walked over them looked at the first duck and said, ''How was your day?'' ''Not too bad, since I was in and out of puddles all day,'' replied the duck. ''What is your name?'' the bartender asked. ''Hewy, and I'll have a вееr.''The bartender asks the next duck the same question and gets the same answer, that his day was pretty good because he was in and out of puddles all day, and his name was Dewy. The bartender looks at the third duck and says, ''Let me guess your name is Lewy'' The duck looked up at him with a tired look on his face and said, ''My name is puddles, and don't ask me how my вlооdy day was!''

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Animal Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: What weighs 2,000 pounds and lays at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Moby's d**k.

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Animal Jokes

Q:
What do you get when you cross a rooster and a telephone pole? Q: A 20-foot соск that want to reach out and touch someone.

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Animal Jokes

Q: Why do fireflies light up while they are having sеx?
A: They're so turned on.

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Animal Jokes

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrarri?
Porcupines have рriскs on the outside...

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Animal Jokes Car and driving jokes Insult Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A: A fly can fly, but a mosquito cannot mosquito.

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Animal Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Q: What does a vulgаr chicken say?
A: F**k, f**k, f**k...

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Animal Jokes

What do a walrus and tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal!

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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: What kind of pillar can't hold up a building?
A: A caterpillar.

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Animal Jokes

What did the thirsty whale do?
Bit the tail of a submarine and suскеd out all the sеамеn.

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Animal Jokes

Two whales are swimming along one day, bored. One whale spots a ship and suggests to the other, "Hey, why don''t we swim under that boat, and spurt out water so it tips over?"
"Well," says the other whale, "I''ll give it a вlоw job, but I refuse to swallow any sea men!"

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Animal Jokes

What do you do with a blue whale?
Cheer it up!

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Animal Jokes

Q: What's purple and leaps from tree to tree?
A: Squirrel!
Q: Then why is it purple?
A: It choked on a nut...'

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Animal Jokes

A fly flies back and forth over a river repeatedly, dropping five inches each time. A fish sees it and decides it will jump and catch it when it drops.
A bear sees the fish and decides it will get the fish when it jumps.
A hunter with a cheese sandwich in his pocket sees the bear and waits for it to go for the fish to shoot it.
A mouse sees the cheese sandwich and decides to wait for the hunter to shoot so that the sandwich will fall and he can get it.
A cat sees the mouse and decides to wait for it to go for the sandwich to jump and catch it.
So, the fly drops, the fish jumps, the bear goes for it, the hunter shoots, the sandwich falls, the mouse goes for it, and the cat jumps, but he misses and goes into the water.
The moral of the story: when the fly drops five inches, the рussy gets wet.

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Animal Jokes

Where's Ice Cube, Eve, and Cedric?
Q: Where did the sheep get its haircut?
A: The ba-ba shop

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Animal Jokes

Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An embarassed zebra!

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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes Boycott Jokes Internet Jokes

Q: What is a fly without wings?
A: A walk.

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Animal Jokes