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Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What do a walrus and tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal!

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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: What kind of pillar can't hold up a building?
A: A caterpillar.

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Animal Jokes

What did the thirsty whale do?
Bit the tail of a submarine and suскеd out all the sеамеn.

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Animal Jokes

Two whales are swimming along one day, bored. One whale spots a ship and suggests to the other, "Hey, why don''t we swim under that boat, and spurt out water so it tips over?"
"Well," says the other whale, "I''ll give it a вlоw job, but I refuse to swallow any sea men!"

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Animal Jokes

What do you do with a blue whale?
Cheer it up!

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Animal Jokes

Q: What's purple and leaps from tree to tree?
A: Squirrel!
Q: Then why is it purple?
A: It choked on a nut...'

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Animal Jokes

A fly flies back and forth over a river repeatedly, dropping five inches each time. A fish sees it and decides it will jump and catch it when it drops.
A bear sees the fish and decides it will get the fish when it jumps.
A hunter with a cheese sandwich in his pocket sees the bear and waits for it to go for the fish to shoot it.
A mouse sees the cheese sandwich and decides to wait for the hunter to shoot so that the sandwich will fall and he can get it.
A cat sees the mouse and decides to wait for it to go for the sandwich to jump and catch it.
So, the fly drops, the fish jumps, the bear goes for it, the hunter shoots, the sandwich falls, the mouse goes for it, and the cat jumps, but he misses and goes into the water.
The moral of the story: when the fly drops five inches, the рussy gets wet.

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Animal Jokes

Where's Ice Cube, Eve, and Cedric?
Q: Where did the sheep get its haircut?
A: The ba-ba shop

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Animal Jokes

Q: What is a fly without wings?
A: A walk.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What's a wok?
A: Something you throw at a wabbit.

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Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the duck travel to a dangerous neighborhood?
A: He wanted to buy some quack.

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Animal Jokes

I was walking home when I noticed a couple of robins laying down in the sun.
I let my talking cats out and the kitten said to her mom, ''I'm hungry!''
So the mother cat said, ''What would you like?'' The kitten replied, ''I don't know!''
Then the mother cat looked at the robins and said, ''How about some basking robins?''

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Animal Jokes

What do you call a monket...
What do you call a monkey lost in a desert?
Scewed

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Animal Jokes

Q: How do you talk to a fish?
A: You drop him a line.

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Animal Jokes

What's the only animal that has to be oiled?
A mouse. Why? 'Cause it squeaks!

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Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl?
A: He got рissеd off.

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road by a zebra crossing. One says, "Don't cross here!"
The other one says, "Why not?"
The first one says, "Look what happened to this zebra!"

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Animal Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Political Jokes

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "
Yes i do " and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks
"Where did you get this?"
The guy replies "
Oh I have a personal genie"
The first man asks
"Can i make a wish? "
Sure says the other man
"Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing"
"Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says "
I want a Million Bucks "
The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other "
Your genie realy suскs at hearing doesnt He?"
The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"

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Dirty jokes Money jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Genie jokes

Q: What's the difference between a book and a teacher?
A: You can shut a book up but you can't shut a teacher up.

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Vulgar jokes School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes