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Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.

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Animal Jokes Food Jokes Sex Jokes

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hogs and Kisses!

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Valentine's Day Jokes Animal Jokes

I took the missuz out for Valentine’s dinner and she ordered Pelican, which was a feature on the Valentine’s menu.
It was delicious, but the bill was enormous.

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Valentine's Day Jokes Animal Jokes

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day? You're purrr-fect for me!

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Valentine's Day Jokes Animal Jokes

What do you call a gаy dinosoaur? Mega-Soar-Ass

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Animal Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Dinosaur jokes

Animal Facts
1. Hippo milk is pink.
2. If you put alcohol on a scorpion, it will sting itself to death.
3. Vampire bats are one of few mammals that will adopt an orphan our risk its own life to give food to a less fortunate roostmate.
4. Squirrels forget where they hide over half of their nuts.
5. Kittens sleep so much because they only release a special growth hormone while they sleep.
6. It is impossible for pigs to look up at the sky.
7. Sheep can survive two weeks buried in a snow drift.
8. A four foot long walrus реnis воnе sold for $8000 on ebay in 2007.
9. A whale реnis is called a dork.
10. Elephants weigh less than a Blue Whale's tongue.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Vampire jokes

Q: What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
A: Bugs bunny.

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Animal Jokes Sex Jokes

Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice?
Because it was a dirтy double crosser.

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Animal Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion."
"I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.”

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Animal Jokes Religion jokes God Jokes Priest Jokes

The energizer bunny was arrested on a charge of battery.

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Animal Jokes Technology Jokes Prison Jokes

What did the elephant say to the nакеd man?
How do you breathe through that tiny thing?

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Animal Jokes

- What's the difference between snowman and snow woman?
- Snowballs.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Lesbian jokes Sexist Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

To be stung by a mosquito is not very pleasant.
But the thought that an insect with just 10 brain cells could mess up your entire night is something quite different.

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Animal Jokes

Two donkeys are standing at a roadside, one asks the other: So, shall we cross?
The other shakes his head: "No way, look at what happened to the zebra."

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Animal Jokes

Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. “I’ll have to cross the road,” says one.
“Well, be careful,” says the other one, “there’s a bus coming in an hour.“

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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Where do you bring horses that are sick?
To the horsepital.

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Animal Jokes

Where do we get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Bad Jokes

Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don’t work.

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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Bad Jokes

Yo mamma is so fат dora couldn't even explore her.

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Yo Momma Jokes Animal Jokes Fat Jokes