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Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "
Yes i do " and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks
"Where did you get this?"
The guy replies "
Oh I have a personal genie"
The first man asks
"Can i make a wish? "
Sure says the other man
"Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing"
"Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says "
I want a Million Bucks "
The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other "
Your genie realy suскs at hearing doesnt He?"
The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"

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Money jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Genie jokes

Q: What's the difference between a book and a teacher?
A: You can shut a book up but you can't shut a teacher up.

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Vulgar jokes

Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hogs and Kisses!

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Animal Jokes Valentine's Day Jokes

I took the missuz out for Valentine’s dinner and she ordered Pelican, which was a feature on the Valentine’s menu.
It was delicious, but the bill was enormous.

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Animal Jokes Valentine's Day Jokes

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day? You're purrr-fect for me!

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Animal Jokes Valentine's Day Jokes

What do you call a gаy dinosoaur? Mega-Soar-Ass

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Animal Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Dinosaur jokes

Animal Facts
1. Hippo milk is pink.
2. If you put alcohol on a scorpion, it will sting itself to death.
3. Vampire bats are one of few mammals that will adopt an orphan our risk its own life to give food to a less fortunate roostmate.
4. Squirrels forget where they hide over half of their nuts.
5. Kittens sleep so much because they only release a special growth hormone while they sleep.
6. It is impossible for pigs to look up at the sky.
7. Sheep can survive two weeks buried in a snow drift.
8. A four foot long walrus реnis воnе sold for $8000 on ebay in 2007.
9. A whale реnis is called a dork.
10. Elephants weigh less than a Blue Whale's tongue.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Vampire jokes

Q: What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
A: Bugs bunny.

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Animal Jokes Sex Jokes

Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice?
Because it was a dirтy double crosser.

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Animal Jokes

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion."
"I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.”

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Religion jokes God Jokes Animal Jokes Priest Jokes

The energizer bunny was arrested on a charge of battery.

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Technology Jokes Animal Jokes Prison Jokes

To be stung by a mosquito is not very pleasant.
But the thought that an insect with just 10 brain cells could mess up your entire night is something quite different.

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Animal Jokes

Two donkeys are standing at a roadside, one asks the other: So, shall we cross?
The other shakes his head: "No way, look at what happened to the zebra."

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Animal Jokes

Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. “I’ll have to cross the road,” says one.
“Well, be careful,” says the other one, “there’s a bus coming in an hour.“

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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Where do you bring horses that are sick?
To the horsepital.

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Animal Jokes

Where do we get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Bad Jokes

Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don’t work.

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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Bad Jokes

Yo mamma is so fат dora couldn't even explore her.

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Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

What do you call an alligator that’s wearing a vest?
An investigator.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Bad Jokes