Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Why is a swordfish's nose 11 inches long?
Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot!

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What says "Eoo?"
A соw with no lips.

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Animal Jokes

What do you do with a dog that doesn’t have any legs? You take him for a drag.

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Animal Jokes

Two nuns from Ireland come to tour New York City. Before they come, they hear that Americans eat dogs, so they both agree to try it when they arrive. As they're walking around New York, they hear, "Hot Dogs! Get your hot dogs!" They rush over to get one! As the first nun opens hers, her face turns white and she gasps, "What part did you get?!"

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Animal Jokes

Where do cows go on friday night?
To the MOOOOOvies

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Animal Jokes

Where do sharks go on their holidays?
Finland.

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Animal Jokes

Why are frogs so happy? A Because they eat everything that bugs them.

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Animal Jokes

A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said,
"I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What do you call a man attacked by a cat?
Claude.

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

What do you call a dog with metal ваlls and no hind legs?
Sparky.

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Animal Jokes

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies,
"Just looking around."

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

What does a pig put on its paper cut? A: Oinkment!

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Animal Jokes

Why are sharks mostly salt water creatures? Because pepper would make them sneeze.

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Animal Jokes

What did the farmer get when he crossed a centipede with a Turkey? 100 Drumsticks.

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Animal Jokes

What did Santa call his reindeer that couldn't fly? Dinner.

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Animal Jokes

Two caged circus lions break free and corner a clown in his dressing room. One lion says to the other, "Forget it, those things taste funny."

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Animal Jokes

How does a соw sneak off a farm?
Right pasteurize.

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Animal Jokes

A man walk into a bar and says,
"Give me something to drink just no vоdка." The bartender asks, "Why? That's your typical drink of choice." The man replies,
"Because last night I got drunк and blew Chunks." The bartender says,
"Well, it's normal to вlоw chunks if you drink too much. The man says,
"No, Chunks is my dog."

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Animal Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

What did the chicken say when it got to the library? "Book book book book book book book..."

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Animal Jokes

What do you call a duck that steals?
A Robber Duck.

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Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes