Animal Jokes

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Animal Jokes
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he’s there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, ‘I’ll have a C monkey, please’.
The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying ‘That’ll be $5,000’. The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says, ‘That was a very expensive monkey-most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?’
‘Oh’, says the shopkeeper, ‘that monkey can program in C with very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.’
The tourist starts to look at the monkeys in the cage. He says to the shop keeper, ‘That one’s even more expensive, $10,000! What does it do?’
‘Oh’, says the shopkeeper, ‘that one’s a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff.’
The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price tag round its neck says $50,000.
He gasps to the shop keeper, ‘That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?’
‘Well,’ says the shopkeeper, ‘I don’t know if it actually does anything, but says it’s a Consultant.’
Money jokes Animal Jokes
A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
Three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, “how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was $250.
“$250”, the man said. “Well what does he do?
“He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000,
Responds the clerk. “He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of
Your letters.”
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an
Expert computer programmer.
Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, “$1,000.”
Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird’s
Specialty was.
The clerk replies, “Well to be honest I haven’t seen him do anything.
But the other two call him ” Team Leader “!!
Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes
Animal Jokes
A lady approaches her priest and tells him “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” the priest inquired.
“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'”
“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship.”
“Thank you!” the woman responded.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say “Hi we’re prostitutes, want to have some fun?”
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!
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