Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Through the jongole I am went
… On shooting Tiger I am bent
Boshtaard Tiger has taken my wife
No doubt I will avenge poor darling’s life
Too much quiet, snakes and leeches
But I not fear these sons of beeches
Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start
But noise is coming from my dамn fool heart
Taking care not to be sheeting in fright
I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight
Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down
Then like hero return to native town
Then through trees I am espying one cave
I am telling self - “Bannerjee be brave”
I am now proceeding with too much care
From far I smell this Tiger’s lair
My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start pray
I think I will shoot Tiger some other day
Turning round I am going to flee
But Tiger giving вlооdy roar smelling Bengalee
He bounding from cave like footballer Pele
I run shouting “Kali Ma tumi kothay gele”
Through the jongole I am running
With Blowdy Tiger on my tail closer looming
I am sheeting and telling that never in life
I will take risk again for my farked up “WIFE “!!!!! ♥
Animal Jokes
Animal Jokes
A reporter hears about an amazing pig and goes out to the farm in northwich to get the story. He finds the farmer near the barn and asks him if the rumors about his pig are true.
“Yep,” says the farmer. “I got a pig that started squealing real loud
When the house was on fire. He woke us all up and so we all got to
Safety. Otherwise we might have been killed. That’s some pig.”
“And didn’t the pig save your boy from drowning?” asked the reporter.
“Yep, he raced right into the pond and pulled my little boy out by his shirt collar. Saved his life,” the farmer says, wiping a tear from his eye.
“Wow, I’d like to see this pig,” the reporter says.
“Well, come on over here.”
The farmer leads the reporter over to a nearby pen. There in the mud the reporter sees a pig with a wooden leg.
“Why does he have a wooden leg?”
The farmer replies, “Well, you don’t eat a pig like that all at fuскing once.
Animal Jokes
Animal Jokes
Animal Jokes
A frog goes into a bank and hops up to a teller. He can see from her name plate that she is called Patricia Whack, so he says "Ms. Whack, I'd like to borrow $30,000, please."
The teller asks for his name and the frog replies that he is Kermit Jagger, son of Мiск Jagger, and a personal friend of the bank manager. Unconvinced, Ms. Whack explains she will need some identity and also some security against his loan. The frog produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant and hands it to her.
The confused teller says she will have to consult with her manager. "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow $30,000," she tells her boss. "And what do you think this elephant is about?"
The manager looks back at her and says,
"It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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