Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

One day a man went to a pet store and bought a hundred-legged worm. The sales person told him about this worm. It was not a normal worm. This worm could do anything as a maid. When they were home, the man asked the worm to turn on the T. V. So the worm turned it on. Then he asked him to prepare him some coffee. So the worm did it. The man told him to go buy the newspaper. So the worm went out of the house to buy the newspaper. An hour passed and still the worm didn't come. Another hour passed and the worm had still not come back. So finally the man stood up and opened the front door.
"So, there you are," the man said looking at the worm, "have you bought the newspaper?"
"Sorry, sir," answered the worm, "I haven't finished putting on my shoes."

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

A Zebra arrives on a farm. The first animal she meets is a соw. “Whats your job?” she asks. …
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“My job is to give milk,” the соw replies. …
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The next animal she meets is a chicken. “Whats your job,” she asks. …
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“My job is to lay eggs,” the chicken answers.
The third animal she meets is a stallion. “Whats your job?” she asks.
The stallion replies, “Just take off those silly striped pajamas and I’ll show you.”

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Animal Jokes

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.

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Animal Jokes

My cat went completely insane when I told him he was adopted.
I spelled it out with a laser pointer

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Animal Jokes

Could you imagine the wonderful, beautiful роор that this thing must take? That's why they beat their chest. I'd be beating my chest, too, if I had 60 pounds of сrар comin' out of me.

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Animal Jokes

Who cleans up after guide dogs?

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Animal Jokes

Why is it so hard to shoe flies?
Because their feet are so tiny.

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Animal Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur that turns small words into big words?
A Thesaurus!

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Animal Jokes

Dogs. Because when everyone looks at you like you're crazy, they look at you like you're amazing.

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Animal Jokes

They say dogs take on the personality of their owners which is вullshiт because all my dog does is lay around all day and touch himself.

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Animal Jokes

What button does a dog push on the DVD player?
The PAWS button!

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Animal Jokes

I'm relaxing on the beach, and all of a sudden, all these women start gathering around me. They got these big signs; they're going, 'Fur is мurdеr! Fur is мurdеr!' I said, 'Lady, that's my back. Now get off it.'

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes

Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time веnт over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over.
“So, did you enjoy the film?”
The goat replied, “To tell you the truth, I liked the book better.”

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Animal Jokes

A big bullfrog is in the middle of the swamp crying out his lament about being stuck so far from all the action.
Out of nowhere this fairy godmother appears and tells him he will have an encounter with a beautiful young woman in three years. The bullfrog asks this fairy godmother why it will take so long.
"The woman is only in eighth grade now, and will not be dissecting frogs in Biology until her Junior year."

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes

I’ve just found a box full of cricket ваlls.
And a bag full of grasshopper penises.

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Animal Jokes

Apparently the female spider devours the male minutes after mating. It takes female humans years to do that.

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes

I wear two pairs of pants when I go golfing. People always ask me why I do. I say, "I wear two pants when's I golf just in case I get a hole-in-one.

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Animal Jokes

Two cows are standing in a field, one says to the other: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad соw disease? Are you worried?
The other соw replies: Not at all, good thing i am a helicopter

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Animal Jokes

Girl, we can play zoo.. And you can tame my monkey

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Animal Jokes

A dog asks a cat “How come I’ve never seen you cats making love in public?”
The cat replies, “Do you want humans to steal our style like they did yours?”

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Animal Jokes