Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

An animal has three legs. Dance, said the lion.
I'll rаре you tonight, said the whale.

0 0

Animal Jokes

Poodle:
“My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.”
Collie:
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?”
Poodle:
“I can’t. I’m not allowed on the couch.”

0 0

Animal Jokes

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, “Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.”
50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces.
Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks.
Another trip to the yard and when it's all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, “Say what breed is that anyway?”
The owner says, “Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator.”

0 0

Animal Jokes

What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a chicken?
A chicken lays eggs, and Yo' Mama lays everything else.

0 0

Animal Jokes

Once there was a group of vampire bats that lived in a cave outside of a big city.
One night, one said to a another, “I'm so hungry. I'm going to go get something.”
“No don't! We have to wait for the others!”
“I don't care.” And off he went.
About 30 minutes later, he came back and was covered in blood.
The other vampire bat asked, “WHOA!! Where did you find all that blood?”
“You really want to see?” asked the вlооdy one. “Follow me.”
So the first bat leads the other bat to the city and points to a large black building and asks, “Do you see that building?”
“Yes,” came the reply.
To that the first says, “Well, I didn't.”

0 0

Animal Jokes

“Nice greyhound; fast as well. Have you considered racing him?” asked this bloke in the park.
“No, not really,” I replied. “I’m far too unfit and out of condition.”

0 0

Animal Jokes

Teacher:
"Who is a Coward?"..
Jeff:Any соw that is given an Award

0 0

Animal Jokes

Whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the соw across the lake

0 0

Animal Jokes

What does a соw say when he remembers something?
“I have deja moo!”

0 0

Animal Jokes

Here’s a better version of a previous joke:
I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!

0 0

Animal Jokes

What instrument do a pair of sheep play, The two-baaaa

0 0

Animal Jokes

What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly Mammoth.

0 0

Animal Jokes

What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini

0 0

Animal Jokes

SHeep want to WOooll the world

0 0

Animal Jokes

You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns

0 0

Animal Jokes

What’s a Sheeps Favorite Song?
Baby Don’t Herd Me.

0 0

Animal Jokes

Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish
Son: That’s too baaaaaad

0 0

Animal Jokes

My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40”

0 0

Animal Jokes

What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars?
A lambo.

0 0

Animal Jokes

What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(havent uploaded yesterday cuz couldnt think of a joke)

0 0

Animal Jokes