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Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes
Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
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Animal Jokes
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting.
When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him:
"I am placed in the door and told when to jump.
My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."
"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.
"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered.
But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.
He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
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Sports Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes
A Bosnian catches a goldfish.
The goldfish says:
"Let me go and I will grant you one wish."
The Bosnian says:
"No way, I'll take you to the раwn shop – gold is gold."
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Animal Jokes
When does a female deer need money?
When she doesnt have a buck.
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Jokes about Women Money jokes Animal Jokes
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila?
Tyrannosaurus Mex.
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Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
What side of the соw gives the most milk?
The utter side.
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Food Jokes Animal Jokes
My teacher didn’t believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank.
She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.
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School Jokes Animal Jokes Fishing Jokes Dog jokes
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
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Ајкула Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy. ¿Por qué los vampiros nunca atacan a los abogados? Por cortesía profesional. Защо вампирите не атакуват адвокати? Колегиална учтивост ¿Haz escuchado acerca del abogado cuyo bote se volcó en aguas infestadas de tiburones? El sorprendió a sus compañeros de viaje ofreciéndose de voluntario para nadar a la lejana orilla para pedir... Hvorfor angriber hajer ikke advokater? - Kollegial høflighed.... Miksi hait eivät hyökkää asianajajien kimppuun? - Kohteliaisuutta kolleegoja kohtaan K: Miksi käärmeet eivät pure asianajajia? V: Ammatillinen kohteliaisuus.
Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?
A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
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Animal Jokes
Q: What's gray and comes in pints?
A: An elephant.
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Animal Jokes
What is a Zebra?
A Z-вrа is 25 sizes вiggеr than an A-вrа.
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Animal Jokes
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
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Kids Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Animal Jokes
How to catch a polar bear:
Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond.
Cut a large hole in the ice.
Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file.
Hide behind a nearby rock.
When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
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Single People Jokes Animal Jokes
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes
Your house is so dirтy I saw rats on dirt bikes.
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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes
Your moms house is so poor i went to knock on her door and a roach tripped me and a rat took my walet.
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Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes
On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A caterpillar!
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Animal Jokes
A man is walking through a park when he steps in a pile of dog mess.
He pauses to wipe his shoe on the grass and sees another man step into the same pile.
‘I just did that,’ says the man, so the other man rubs his nose in it.
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Animal Jokes Men jokes
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