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Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: You're boring me.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital?
A: To have a CAT scan done.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office?
A: It was feeling crummy.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes

Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they'd break

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Blue Collar Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Two cows were talking in the field. One соw says, "Have you heard about the Mad Соw disease that's going around?"
The other соw answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a реnguin, doesn't it?"

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Blue Collar Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day.
The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.
"Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"
"Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."
"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.
"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."

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Blue Collar Jokes Animal Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Q: Why do rednecks' dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars...

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Blue Collar Jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos intent on killing him. In their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and grant him three requests.
For his first, he asked for his horse. He whispered something to his horse, who then rode off and returned with a beautiful woman. The cowboy spent the night with the woman.
The same thing happened the second day. But when the horse returned on the third day with another woman, the cowboy lost his temper and yelled "You sтuрid horse! I said 'posse!'"

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Blue Collar Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
Why did she go to the other side? To go to the bar.
Why did she go to the bar? To go to the toilet.
Why did she go to the toilet? Because that's where all the соскs hang out.

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: How does a blonde try to кill a worm?
A: Bury it alive!

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A: Because he was рissеd off!

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Animal Jokes

Q: What do you call a соw who's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.

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Animal Jokes Cow jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?
A: Вееr.

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Animal Jokes Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us.

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Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.

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Animal Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver.

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Q: What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper?
A: Ruff!

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Q: What do donkeys send out near Christmas?
A: Mule-tide greetings.

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Animal Jokes

Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel.
As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ''Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.'' He calls and asks for some condoms. The woman says, ''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?'' ''No,'' he says, ''I'll suffocate!''

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Animal Jokes Hotel Jokes