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Aviation Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago.
"The next flight leaves at 1:00 p. M.," a ticket agent said,
"And arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p. M."
"Would you repeat that, please?" Bob asked.
The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a reservation?"
"No," said Bob, "But I think I'll hang around and watch that thing take off."
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Aviation Jokes
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
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Aviation Jokes
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
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Aviation Jokes
Viggie tickles
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Aviation Jokes
Two people are sitting in a sky scraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi
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Aviation Jokes
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!"
" To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry."
" No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"
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Animal Jokes Aviation Jokes
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11, my grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew
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Aviation Jokes
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
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Aviation Jokes
I don’t understand the plane crash at 9/11. my dad was a great pilot!
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Aviation Jokes
The last time I had flying lessons I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Dаrn…
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Aviation Jokes
Steven hawkings not dead he is just in airplane mode
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Aviation Jokes
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don’t have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You’re right it’s very nice but i’have one thing that you don’t have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don’t have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don’t have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I’m rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I’m rich. Why you have something that I don’t have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!
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Aviation Jokes
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
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Aviation Jokes
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? here’s a good example…
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apperently) through out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. “why are you running?”
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he’s bleeding!"
They three of them decide it’s best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, “What’s so funny?”
“Grandma farted and the house blew up!”
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Aviation Jokes
I can tell you a airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head
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Aviation Jokes
Have i told you the joke about the airplane, ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head
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Aviation Jokes
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers
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Aviation Jokes
An international football team flies on a charter jet
To their next tournament. It’s quite a long flight and they get bored
And decide, since it’s a charter flight, that they’re going to play some
Football on the plane.
After a while the captain is getting angry with all the yelling and
Bumping and sends his co-pilot to go out there and shut them up.
30 seconds later the co-pilot comes back and the plane is wonderfully
Silent.
“That’s awesome, how did you manage to calm them down this quickly?”
“It was no problem. I just said, ‘Listen, guys, the weather is lovely –
Why don’t you play outside for a while?’”
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Good jokes Aviation Jokes Military Jokes Pilot Jokes
Three doves are sitting in a tree.
Suddenly they spot an airplane in the distance. One nudges the other:
- ”Look at that! That is fast!”
The other looks at him:
“You’d be too I if your вuтт was on fire.“
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Kids Jokes Aviation Jokes
In theory, 747 shouldn’t ever crash, should it?
It should just go ‘Boeing’.
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Good jokes Aviation Jokes
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