Blonde Jokes - Page 97

A fit blonde walked over to me in a club last night, “What do you do for a living?” she asked
“Accounting specialist,” I said.
“Wow!” she replied, “What can you go upto?”

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Blonde Jokes

Gracie was driving down the road in her pickup truck when she spotted a blonde sitting in a canoe in the middle a corn field. She slammed on her brakes and swerved into the corn field.
Pulling up beside the blonde, she rolled down her window and shouted, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?!?"
The blonde in the canoe looked at her, confused and said,
"Well, I'm just out enjoying the sun in my canoe."
Gracie was fuming. She yelled back, "Why are you out in the middle of the cornfield!?!"
"Well, it seemed like a great day to be in the wide open," the blonde replied.
"You know," Gracie said,
"It's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your вuтт!"

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde, a brunette and a red head walk into a bar. The bartender
Tells them that there is a magic mirror in the bathroom. If they tell
The truth while looking into it then they get something nice, but if
They lie then they disappear.
The brunette walks in, looks in the mirror and says,
"I think that I
Am the sexiest woman in the bar." And $1 million pops up in the sink.
The red head walks in, looks in the mirror and says,
"I think I'm the
Smartest woman in the bar." And car keys to Viper pop out of the sink.
The blonde walks in, looks in the mirror and says,
"I think....." And
She disappears.

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes

There's a magical mirror in a a bar that eats those who lie to it.
A blonde and a brunette and a red head walk into a bar and discover the mirror.
The brunette looks at it and says "wow I think I'm this dress looks good on me."
So it eats her.
The red head says "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world"
So it eats her.
The blonde looks at the mirror and says "I think -". *It eats her*

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Blonde Jokes

It was very crowded and noise in this Restaurant and this blond girl asks the waiter where the restroom was. And he says:
- I can’t hear you! So she gets close to his ear and asks again:
- Can you please tell me where the ladies room is? And he replies:
- On the other side! So she turns around and gets close to his other ear, and asks:
- Can you please tell me where the ladies room is, please!
And he answers:
- On the other side!

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Blonde Jokes

A sеxy blonde goes to the doctor and says,
“Oh doctor, it’s awful, every time I hear a Jim Carrey quote, I get so hоrny that I rip my clothes off and fсuк the nearest thing to me!”
Doctor replies, “Re-he-eeeeallllllllly?”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes

Heard about the two blondes who were found starving and freezing to death at the drive inn?
They thought closed for winter was a movie.

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Blonde Jokes

Blonde: hey i got a a compliment on my driving today.
Friend:how???
Blonde:when i got outside i had a piece of paper on my car that said "parking fine"
Friend: Fuскing blondes.

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Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes

Three blondes were walking in a forest, where they came across some tracks.
"Oh look, deer tracks!" says one of the blondes.
"You duммy, those are moose tracks!" the second one says.
"No, she was right, they're deer tracks!" the third one yells.
The three blondes were still arguing about it when the train hit them.

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Blonde Jokes

An blond went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots.
The owner replied, “Sorry, I don’t have any at the moment.”
“Dамn and blast!” said the blonde, “I have been invited to a fancy dress party for the first time in my life and I want to go as a Pirate, and I have been told to be as authentic as possible, hence the need for the parrot explained the Blond.
“Well” said the owner, “if you come back here next week, specifically on Thursday, I am expecting a shipment from South America and I’ll be able to supply you with a parrot, guaranteed,”
“Dамn and blast!” said the blonde, “I can’t come on that day or for some time after.”
“Why not?” Asked the owner.
“Because that is the day I’m having my leg amputated!

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Blonde Jokes USA Jokes

Two blondes are walking on opposite sides of a river. the first blonde yells out, Hey How do I get to the other side of the river? The second blonde thinks about it for a moment, then yells back. Don't be silly, You are on the other side!

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Blonde Jokes

I was on a date with layla, a blonde girl from Essex, looking at the menu she points and says,
"Oh i like the idea of this choice but it says fат free.. I dont want any free fат!"

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Blonde Jokes Fat Jokes

An Old man sits on a park bench crying when a passer by stops to give the man some comfort.
Looking at the old man he says “you look familiar, wait you are that lottery winner who won over a hundred million”
“Yes that me “replied the old man.
“But you own a yacht and a massive house and didn’t you marry that nymphomaniac blond starlet” he asks.
“Yes that’s all true” said the old man.
“So why are you crying” he asks.
“Because I have forgotten where I live!”

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes

Girlfriend : I need help with this puzzle
Boyfriend : what is it supposed to look like?
Girlfriend : a tiger
Boyfriend : we are never going to finish this puzzle
Boyfriend : now put the frosted flakes back in the cereal box

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Blonde Jokes

Why are blondes sтuрid? There blonde!

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Blonde Jokes

What’s the quickest way to turn a blonde into a redhead?
Ask Oscar Pistorius

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Blonde Jokes Criminal Jokes

A blonde’s neighbour went across to visit and found the blonde crying profusely. She asked what was wrong and the blonde said that her mother had died. The neighbour made her a cup of tea and comforted her until she had calmed down and then went home.
The next day the neighbour visited again, and once again he found the blonde in tears. She again asked what was wrong this time. The blonde replied, “I’ve just been on the phone to my sister, her mum died too”.

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Blonde Jokes

Anna and blonde arguing..... Which is the best contraceptive?- Blonde - An aspirin
Anna - ???
Blonde - Take an aspirin, put it between the knees and keep it tight

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Blonde Jokes

Why are blondes so easy to get into bed? Who cares?

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Blonde Jokes

Why did the blonde jump off the cliff? She thought her маxi pad had wings.

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Blonde Jokes