Christmas Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Нова Година. Дядо Коледа раздава подаръци. Кофти график, бърза като луд, няма време... На Нова Година, Дедо Мраз ги испорачува подароците. Брза како луд да стигне на време, испотен се протнува низ еден оџак и што да види. Der Weihnachtsmann steigt durch den Kamin ins Wohnzimmer. Plötzlich sieht er eine wunderschöne, splitternackte Blondine vor sich stehen. Sie lächelt ihn verführerisch an. Dann denkt sich der... Der Weihnachtsmann, als er das nackte Mädchen auf dem Sofa findet: "Tu ichs, komme ich nicht wieder in den Himmel. Tu ichs nicht, komme ich nicht wieder durch den Kamin." C’est le Père Noël qui descend par la cheminée dans une maison, et là… surprise, il y a une super nana, nue, lascivement étendue sur un divan et qui lui fait de l’œil. Le Père Noël marmonne : - «... W pewne Boże Narodzenie św. Mikołaj wychodzi z komina i zostaje zaskoczony przez 19- letnią blondynkę. Ona mówi: - Św. Mikołaju, zostaniesz ze mną? - Ho, ho, ho - rzekł św. Mikołaj - muszę... De Kerstman glijdt door de schoorsteen heen. Als hij beneden aankomt ziet hij een blote vrouw op bed liggen. Hij denkt:als ik iets met haar doe kan ik niet naar de hemel. Maar als ik niets met haar... Moş Crăciun intră pe horn într-o casă şi nimereşte în dormitorul unei tinere superbe, care dormea goală în pat. Nehotărît, începe să se plimbe de colo-colo prin încăpere, zicînd: - Dacă o fac, nu...
Christmas Jokes
Three men die and meet Peter at the pearly gates. Three men are killed in an auto accident on Christmas Eve and ascend to heaven, where they’re met by Saint Peter. “In order to get in,” he tells them, “you must each produce something... Three men had been at a wild office party and died in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They soon found themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. But before they could pass, Saint... Three men wait at the gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. They're told they have to present a Christmas gift to get in. The first man checks his pockets and finds pine needles from his family's tree....
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Pauly’s family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn’t eating much, and she just keeps her head down.
After a few minutes, she says, “I have something to tell you.”
Everyone gets silent and they all listen.
“I am no longer the virgin I used to be.” And she begins to cry.
A long silence, and Mr Pauly speaks to Mrs Pauly, “It’s your fault, you know, always dressed and made up like a тrамр. You think that’s an example for your daughter? Always wallowing on the sofa; it’s just terrible; that’s why problems like this come up!”
Then Mrs Pauly lights in on Mr Pauly, “And you! Do you think that you’re a good example? Wasting your scrawny paycheck with your drinking buddies who even come drunк into the house - do you think that’s a good example for a little girl 10 years old?”
Then Pauly charges back in, “And her sister, that no-good, with her hairy and dope-crazed boyfriend, always with their hands all over each other - you think that’s a good example too?”
And it goes on and on, back and forth. Then the grandmother hugs the little girl to console her and asks, “Now, darling, how did this happen?
And the little girl answers, trying to hold back her sobbing, “Father Michael chose another girl to be the Virgin in the Christmas pageant this year.”
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