Dad Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

My first memory occurred 9 months before I was born...
... I remember going to this party with my dad but then i went home with my mom.

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Dad Jokes

Dad, why are there so many Chuck Norris jokes but no Bruce Lee jokes?
Dad: Because son, Bruce Lee was no joke.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Dad Jokes

It's never okay to say to your adopted child "I'm not your real dad".
That's a faux pa.

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Dad Jokes

I want to lose my virginity just like my mom did
On prom night, to my dad.

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Dad Jokes

My girlfriend looks just like her mother when she does her makeup the right way
I could make myself look like my dad, but I don't have any vanishing cream

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Dad Jokes

Son in Iraq i killed 20 people.
Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic.
Dad: Never said I was a good one.

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Dad Jokes

I asked my amputee daughter if she could guess what we’re having for dinner tonight
She replied “i don’t know Dad, Im stumped”

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Dad Jokes

A little boy walks into the living room and catches his dad jerking off...
Kid yells "ewww!"
Dad says "oh whatever, you'll be doing this soon yourself."
"No I won't!" yells back the kid.
"Oh yes you will, my arm is getting tired."

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Dad Jokes

My 5 y/old daughter told me no more Dad Jokes.
I told her that the only Dad Joke around here is You.

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Dad Jokes

My dad kept on warning everyone the titanic was gonna sink, but no one listened to him.
Finally, they had enough of him and kicked him out the theater.

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Dad Jokes

I'm getting worried about getting older. My dad died when was only 42.
Then I chill when I remember getting murdered by a hоокеr isn't genetic.

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Dad Jokes

I'm terrified of bats, but I blame my childhood for that.
My dad always took a good swing at me.

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Dad Jokes

My dad text me saying, "Don't try to be someone you're not."
It hurt when he added, "Oops, forgot the comma after 'someone'."

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Dad Jokes

I liked to pretend my dad was a superhero
He was always the invisible man...

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Dad Jokes

A son and a dad are talking
Son: Why is the sky blue?
Dad: The same reason your eyes are blue.
Son: So the sky slept with the postman?

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Dad Jokes

My dad was a stubborn man. He couldn't understand why you shouldn't install a ceiling fаn with duct tape.
And then it hit him.

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Dad Jokes

Before going to party my dad said,
"Don't bring any girls home, tonight."
That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me.

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Dad Jokes

Son: Hey Dad, theres some guy collecting for the old folks home at the door
Dad: Great! Give him Granny!

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Dad Jokes

I may look like a joke to you....
... But I'm completely dad inside

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Dad Jokes

I mentioned my back pain to my dad in passing today. His reply?
"At least it's all behind you."

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Dad Jokes