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Dad Jokes

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Bin Laden's kid comes sad from school
"Dad i got an F in Geography class"
"Why is that?"
"The teacher asked me what's the tallest building in New York and i said Empire State Building"
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies
"Let dad handle this one."
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A programmer's wife is having a baby.
The doctor hands over the baby to the dad. The mom asks:
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
The programmer responds:
"Yes, that's true".
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My dad was getting a prostate exam.
He asked the doctor, "Where should I put my pants during the exam?"
"Just toss them in the corner" replied the doctor, "Right next to mine."
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My doctor told me that I had Hepatitis B
When I told my Asian dad, he said,
"Why you no get Hepatitis A?"
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I used to by my dad a neck tie on father's day, but now I buy him an Asian hоокеr.
It's better to buy a Thai that he'll actually use.
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[OC] My friend recently taught his dog how to say "I love you"
I'm still trying to teach my dad.
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Are insecticides good for mosquitos?"
[yes]
Not at all, it kills them!"
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What is white and hides behind a tree?
A shy milk.
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Why do fish make such lousy tennis players?
They’re afraid of coming close to the net.
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What kind of cake is the most popular one in cake shops?
Answer:
“This one!“
And the second most popular?
Answer:
“No, no – that one, right next to it!”
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Why is there a donut sitting at the dentist’s office?
It’s there to get a filling.
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Why can’t fish cry?
Because they don’t have eyebrows.
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What would you call a camel that has no huмр?
Humphrey.
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- ”What did Jasmin rice say to Asian vegetables?
Don't you wok away from me!
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An exclamation mark look at a question mark appraisingly, “Hmmm, nice curves!
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A man goes to the doctor and says:
“Doctor I swallowed a key. Can you please get it out of my belly?”
The doctor asks:
“When did you swallow it?”
“About 3 years ago.”
“Really? Why are you coming this late?!”
“Well… I lost my spare key.”
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Why is it pointless to play hide and seek with mountain ranges?
They peak.
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What happened on the 1.1.1111?
A new year started.
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What tea is it not a good idea to drink?
Tnt.
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