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Asian jokes

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My coworker invited an Asian friend to the party
His friend said he would bring Coronas to the party, but didn't show up with вееr.
​
*Everyone left the party feeling a little sick.*
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Asian jokes
What do yo call an Asian Kid with a Calculator?
A disgrace
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Asian jokes
What is an Asian persons drug of choice?
Mathamphetamine
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Asian jokes
Whats it callend when you microwave an asian?
Wice Kwispy.
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Asian jokes
Why don’t Asian people like bowling?
Because to them it’s bowring.
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Asian jokes
Whenever I tell people that I'm half asian they look so surprised
They just can't tell by looking at my face
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Asian jokes
A man points a gun to an asians head and says "Get on your knees"
The asian replies "Cantonese"
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Asian jokes
What do Asian cats eat?
Mice paper rolls
What do Asian dogs eat?
Their family
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Asian jokes
If you look at how some Asian people are driving...
... You might think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.
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Asian jokes
Why do Elmo and Asian cuisine go so well together?
Because he's a sesame ginger
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Asian jokes
Why did Logan Paul not high five Ricegum back?
He likes leaving asian people hanging
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Asian jokes
What do you call a shell fish from China?
A Crust-Asian
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Asian jokes Fishing Jokes
My paraplegic friend calls residents of Asian countries "Chinas", "Japans", "Taiwans", etc.
I think he's a little weak in the 'nese.
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Asian jokes
I checked out a brothel and spent time with a bipolar asian girl last night
Dont think I'll be ordering sweet & sour off the menu again any time soon
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Asian jokes
I broke my leg a while back and had to use crutches. After a while he saw me walking in a central Asian country without them and didn't know my leg had healed, so he asked,
"Why don't you have your crutches?"
And I said,
"Kazakhstan up fine by myself."
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Asian jokes
An asian and caucasion guy are hitting on the same girl in a bar.
After a while asian guy is left with a job in his hand.
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Asian jokes
My asian neighbour asked if he could walk the dog
They didn’t come back for a while, I was worried about my dog so I went to his house, dog was on the wok.
Edit: I am not racist nor trying to be disrespectful, just liked the play on words wok and walk
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Asian jokes
What do you call a red head Asian girl who does things with grace?
Ginger Lee.
*If you ever see this I'm sorry for stealing your original joke @Ziplock*
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Asian jokes
I like my cartoons like Wооdy Allen likes his women...
Barely legal and asian.
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Asian jokes
Дете пита майка си: Treffen sich zwei Frauen im Park, die eine hat einen Kinderwagen dabei. Негърче пита майка си: A little boy asked his mother: Mummy, why are you white and I am black? Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark. Un ragazzino: - Mamma, come mai tu sei bianca e io sono nero? - Eh figlio mio, quando mi ricordo di quella festa..., meno male che non abbai. Sohn: "Papa, warum bin ich schwarz obwohl Mama und Du weiß seid?" Vater: "Tja Sohn, das war damals eine ziemlich wilde Orgie. Sei froh, dass Du nicht bellst!" A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !" O garotinho vira-se para a mãe e pergunta: — Manhêêê! — O que é, seu pirralh..., digo, meu querido? — Se você é branca e o papai é negro, por que é que eu fui nascer com cara de japonês? — Ih, meu... Fragt die Frau den Arzt, wie denn ihr neugeborenes Kind aussehe. Antwortet der Arzt: "Ein blonder Schwarzer mit asiatischen Augen! Vielleicht sollten sie das nächste Mal besser aufpassen, wenn sie... Een blondje ligt op de verlostafel en het hoofdje van haar baby komt er uit. Warempel, het is zwart! De verpleegster vraagt: "Deed u het met een zwarte?" "Ja zei de blondine, maar eenmalig." Het... Fritzchen: Papa, Papa – warum sind du und Mama weiß und ich schwarz? Vater: Weißt du Sohn, die 68er waren eine verrückte Zeit. Sei froh, dass du nicht bellst. Mamo, mamo, a dlaczego ja jestem czarny, a Ty jesteś biała? - pyta dziecko mamę. - Ciesz się, że nie masz ogona i nie szczekasz - taka była impreza - odpowiada mama. - Apu, apu! Miért van az, hogy te is fehér vagy, anyu is fehér és én néger vagyok? - Hú, kisfiam erről inkább anyádat kérdezd! Odamegy a gyerek az anyjához: - Anyu, Anyu! Miért van az, hogy te is... Op het ziekenhuis is er juist een vrouw aan het bevallen. Eerst komt het kopje van de baby tevoorschijn, het ziet geel. De dokter vraagt: "Heb je het ooit met een chinees gedaan?" Waarop de dame... Pistike kérdezi az anyukáját: - Anya az mért van, hogy apa is, te is, az egész családban mindenki fehér, csak én vagyok fekete? - Kisfiam, ne kérdezz semmit! Amilyen buli volt, örülj, hogy nem... Mazs zēns jautā mammai: - Mamm, kāpēc es esmu melnādains, bet tu balta? - Labāk nejautā. Atceroties to ballīti.. esi laimīgs, ka nerej! Kisfiú odamegy az anyukájához: - Anyuci, az hogy van, hogy az oviban minden kisfiúnak fehér a bőre, és a szülei is fehérek. Én viszont fekete vagyok, viszont te fehér! Hogy lehet ez? - Hát,... Ρωτάει το παιδί τον πατέρα του : - Μπαμπά, γιατί εσύ είσαι άσπρος, η μαμά μου μαύρη και εγώ κίτρινος; Και του απαντάει ο πατέρας του: - Με την παρτούζα που έπεσε εκείνο το βράδυ, να ευχαριστείς που...
Mommy, why am I asian when daddy is black and you are white?
With how that night went just be thankful you are not barking
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Asian jokes
I once knew a man who spun Asian people round in a circle a few times and when he was done they would be European
It’s the truth, he could disorient people.
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Asian jokes
My doctor told me that I had Hepatitis B
When I told my Asian dad, he said,
"Why you no get Hepatitis A?"
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Asian jokes Dad Jokes
What do you call a lonely south-asian man?
Lone Lee
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Asian jokes
What's black, white, red and Asian?
The red panda
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Asian jokes
I've been so stressed, I decided to finally try that Asian relaxing technique with the needles.
Heroin
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Asian jokes
The Asian man got bad news from his eye doctor
The doctor told him he had a cataract.
The Asian man replied, "No I dwive a Wincoln!"
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Asian jokes
Why could the inventors of the airplane not gave had asian parents?
Because everyone knows two Wongs don't make a Wright.
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Asian jokes
There are two things I hate the most in the world
Racism and Asian people.
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Asian jokes
I cooked fancy meals for several Asian Nations, but they all left before paying the bill
Japan and Vietnam left without forking anything over and Korea totally desserted the place!
If they don't come back, then I may have to fine China
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Asian jokes
Held the door open for an Asian kid
He said sank you. Punched that kid in the face can't believe he'd bring up Pearl Harbor
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Asian jokes
What do United Airlines and an Asian restaurant have in common?
Chinese take out.
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Asian jokes
Why don't Asian parents like Hamlet?
Because the monologue should be "To A or not to A"
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Asian jokes
Asian people are such bad drivers
They keep Korean off the road
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Asian jokes
Want to hear an Asian Dad joke?
Get back to work, you slacker.
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Asian jokes
Its best to put your phone on some rice when its wet
Asian people will come at night and fix it
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Asian jokes
How come no Asian people voted today?
They don't leave their house on еrестiоn day.
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Asian jokes
A man walks onto a bus full of asian people dressed as skeletons and asks:
I'm trying to get to manchester, is this the wight bus or the wong bus?
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Asian jokes
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