Thomas says to John:“You know, it’s a good thing we aren’t Mexicans.”John is puzzled:“What? Why?”Thomas explains:“Because we don’t know a word of Spanish.” 0 0 0
What does a traffic warden do when he wins a million dollars in the lottery?He buys himself a crossing and becomes self-employed. 0 0 0
A waiter came to me in Pizza Hut yesterday and said, “I see you have an empty glass there. Would you like another?”I don’t know what’s wrong with people. What would I do with two empty glasses?! 0 0 0
That awkward moment when you borrow your dad’s electric beard trimmer, disappear in the bathroom for 40 minutes and your dad wonders what you were doing there because your beard looks just like it did before… 0 0 0
That awkward moment when your dad tells you that you’re not really drunк as long as you can pronounce your name backwards and you remind yourself that his name is Bob. 0 0 0
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult “I know the whole truth” they will be all weird so he went home and told his mom “I know the whole truth” and she gave him 20$ and said to keep quiet. Pleased when his dad got home he said “I know the whole truth” and his dad gave him 40$ an said don’t tell mom. really pleased he met the mailman the next day and said “I know the whole truth” then the mailman got down on his knee opened his arms and said come to daddy. 0 0 0
Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says," Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt. 0 0 0
“I’m not sure why my girlfriend’s father doesn’t like me.”“What was your first impression on him?”“I told him, she calls me daddy too.” 0 0 0
Idiот: You tell the worst comebacks ever like "you're dad's соndом failed" and stuffMe: Clearly you don't know the difference between a comeback and the truth 0 0 0