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Мръсни и неприлични вицове, 18+ Dirty jokes Fiese Witze Chistes verdes Пошлые анекдоты Blagues salaces Barzellette Sporche Ερωτικά ανέκδοτα Безобразни вицеви +18 Fıkralar Анекдоти для дорослих Piadas Sujas Dowcipy z wulgaryzmami Fräckisar & Snuskiga skämt Vuile moppen 18+ Frække Jokes Vitser for voksne Alaston vitsit Piszkos viccek Bancuri scârboase Hříšné vtipy Nešvankūs juokeliai Pikantie joki Prostakluci
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Dirty jokes

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A pregnant woman got shot 3 times and recovered, but the bullets were never found. Later she had triplets, two girls and one boy.
Many years later, the first girl came up to her mom and told about how she peed out a bullet.
The next day the second came up and the mother said,
"Lemme guess, you peed out a bullet too." She was right.
The next day her young boy came up to his mom and says,
"Mom, I'm so ashamed of what just happened" The mother replied, "Aw, honey, it's alright, your sisters peed out a bullet too, it's nothing to be ashamed of."
"No, that's not it" he said. "I was rubbing myself, and I think I shot the dog"
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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes
A mom and her little girl walk in the park and they see two teenagers having sеx in the bushes (liitle girl)Mommy mommy what are the doing (Mom)there just making a cake.
Next Day the go to the zoo and they see two monkeys having sеx (llittle girl) Mommy mommy what are they doing (Mom) there making a cake
That Night she goes into her parents room and wakes them up (little girl) i know you and Daddy were making a cake on the couch today.(Mom) How do you know that (little girl) Because i licked the icing.
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
Two gаy men live together in an apartment and have sеx on a regular basis. One day, one man says he needs to go to the toilet and the other man just says "Okay, don't have a wаnк, we need to save all the сuм for later."
"Okay" The other man says, and he goes into the toilet.
After a bit the other man thinks hes taking a while so he opens the door to see whats going on. When he opens the door he sees сuм all over the wall and he says "I thought I told you not to have a wаnк!?"
The other man says "I didn't.. I just farted."
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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
A guy named bob works at a deli. One day he goes to his doctor and says "Doc, I really want to stick my diск in the pickle slicer" The doctors responds with "No dont it will hurt and you will never lose your virginty! "Hey I have had sеx before" And with that he leave's. The next day bob comes back and says "Doc I did it" The doctor says"well are you ok?"
"Im fine but I was fired"
"What about the pickle slicer?" The doctor asks "she was fired to!
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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
What do sharpies and diскs have in common? The black one's are used more.
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Dirty jokes
So there's this diск and a cucumber and the diск and the cucumber are talking about who has it worse and the cucumber says to the diск I think I have it worse because I thrown into vinegar and left out to turn into a pickle and the diск says no I have it worse I get shoved into a dark place and get my head smashed against a wall until I throw up
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Dirty jokes
A man went to an online job interview,
BOSS: Name?
MAN: Jack
BOSS: Age?
Man: 26
BOSS: Sеx?
MAN: 3 times a day.
BOSS: No, your sеx?
MAN: Yes, yes. 3 times.
BOSS: Gender!
MAN: Anything , as long as it turns you on.
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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
Wisdom:
If you woke up one day with two ваlls, you're a man.
If you woke up with three ваlls, you're the ultimate man.
If you woke up with four ваlls, Run, someone's f*cking you.
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Dirty jokes Men jokes
A kid went to the police department to report about his stolen bicycle.
OFFICER: Are you suspicious about anyone who would steal it?
KID: My parents, I guess. Because in the night I heard dad saying:
"Нuмр on it before Derek wakes up!"
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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes Dad Jokes
Why were the tampons hiding behind the school hall? They were bunking a period
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School Jokes Dirty jokes
If ms. pacman will eat ваlls for 25 cents will she suск diск for a dollar.
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Dirty jokes
Boy: Ваве, tell me something that makes me happy and angry at the same time.
Girl: You've got a вiggеr реnis, than all of your friends.
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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes
Why did the sad guitarist get arrested?
Because when a police officer asked him why he was sad, he said," I broke my g string while fingеring a minor."
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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes
*Insert Sеxuаl Inтеrсоursе Joke*
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Dirty jokes
A girl has a sleepover with 3 guys. Then her dad comes down and paints her vаginа purple. He tells the boys,"I'm going to sleep. When I come back i'm going to check and see if any of you had sеx with my daughter." An hour later, he wakes up and checks everybody. When he checks the first two boys their penises are purple so he knows they had sеx with his daughter. When he checks the last guy his diск is clean. The dad says "Good job."
When the third boy opens his mouth to say thanks, his mouth is purple!
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes
Boy sees his mother in the shower and asks, "what's that red gаsh between your legs?" She answered "that where your daddy's chopper hit me" the boy said "oh what a shot, right in the сunт."
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Dirty jokes
Roses are tits
Violets are tits
I like tits
Tits?
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Dirty jokes Boob Jokes
The 85 year old man goes to the doctor's do get a check up, the doc says that he needs a sреrм count and sends an empty jar home with the man. The next day, he comes back with an empty jar. When the doc asked what happened, the man said;
I tried with my right and left hand, my wife tried with left and right, her mouth, teeth in and teeth out, we asked the neighbor to help, she tried with her mouth, both of her hands, she put it in between her legs, in her arms, and with her her feet. The doctor asked in a surprised voice, "You asked your neighbor? What happened?" The old man said,
"We couldn't get the dамn jar open."
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Налагало се да направят изследвания на спермата на един 75 годишен човек. Шишенце Sperm Counting Chiste de la muestra de esperma Το καπάκι Το βαζάκι. Το κουτάκι ΔΙΑΦΟΡΑ ΣΟΚΙΝ 75-годишен старец отива при лекар с молба да изследват спермата му. Мужик на общем медицинском обследовании. Врач говорит ему: Мужик приходит в больницу на обследование. Мъж отива на общ медицински преглед. Докторът му казва: Alphonse, 75 ans, va voir son médecin pour une analyse de sperme. Son médecin lui donne un petit flacon et lui dit de revenir le lendemain pour l'analyse. An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. Um velhinho precisou fazer um exame de contagem de esperma. O médico deu a ele um potinho e disse: En 85-årig man från Piteå gick till doktorn och ville få gjort ett spermatest. Doktorn, som var Stockholmare, gav mannen en burk och sa: - Ta den här burken och kom tillbaka imorgon med ett... Een 85 jarige man ging naar de dokter voor een sperma-onderzoek. De dokter gaf de man een fles en vroeg hem tegen morgen wat sperma mee te brengen. De volgende dag kwam de oude man terug bij de... Após vários anos sem conseguir ter filhos, o casal decide ir consultar um especialista. — A primeira coisa que é preciso fazer — sugere o médico. — É um espermograma. Vou lhe dar este frasquinho... Bir gün ihtiyar bir adam, sperm testi yaptırmak için doktora gider. Doktor adama bir kavanoz verir şöyle der: ─ Buna numune için sperm koyun, yarın bana getirin. Ertesi gün ihtiyar adam kavanozu... 75-latek przyszedł do lekarza na badanie nasienia. Lekarz dał mu słoiczek i powiedział: - Proszę wziąć ten słoiczek do domu i przynieść na jutro dawkę spermy. Następnego dnia dziadek przychodzi i... Πάει ένας πενηντάχρονος στον γιατρό για εξέταση σπέρματος. Του δίνει ο γιατρός ένα μπουκαλάκι και του λέει να το φέρει γεμάτο. Έρχεται την επόμενη στο γιατρό απογοητευμένος με το μπουκάλι άδειο. -... El doctor le pide una muestra de esperma a un hombre de 85 años como parte de su chequeo anual. El doctor le da un frasco y le dice: "Lleve este frasco a casa y tráigalo de regreso mañana con la... Un vieil homme de 70 ans est allé à un test de sperme. Le docteur lui a donné une bouteille pour collecter le sperme. Le lendemain, l'homme arrive avec la bouteille vide, puis dit au docteur : -... 85-erių metų senuko daktaras paprašė tyrimams atnešti spermos. Padavė stiklinį indelį ir pasakė: - Jūs ramiai parsineškit namo ir atneškite rytoj analizams savo spermos. Kitą dieną senukas... An old man was given a jar and asked to provide a sperm sample for his doctor. The next day he returned with the empty jar and explained, "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right... An 80 year old man is given a jar to provide a sperm sample for the doctor, he turns up two days later with an empty jar. The doctor asks ‘Why don;t you have a sperm sample?’ The man says ‘Sorry, I... Ένας πενηντάχρονος, πάει στο γιατρό για εξέταση σπέρματος. Ο γιατρός του δίνει ένα άδειο βαζάκι και του λέει να το φέρει με δείγμα. Την άλλη μέρα πάει ο πενηντάχρονος με το βαζάκι άδειο. - Τι... Komt een man van 80 jaar met zijn aanstaande vrouw Van 20 jaar bij de dokter. Zij willen graag nog een kind, Maar de oude man wil van tevoren eerst even zijn sperma laten controleren. Dus krijgt... Un batran de 75 de ani merge La spital sa faca o analiza a spermei. Doctorul ii Da un borcanel si-i spune: - Ia borcanul asta Si vino cu analiza maine! A doua zi, batranul Apare, cu borcanul la fel... Bjarne skulle ta en sædprøve og fikk med seg et prøveglass hjem fra legen. En uke senere kom han tilbake med tomt glass, og legen lurte på hvorfor det var tomt. "Jo, nå skal du høre," sa Bjarne,...
Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes
It's not rаре if you jump on a cheerleader when she yells "Give me a D".
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Dirty jokes
Boy: Wanna hear a story about my diск, wait, it's too long.(:
Girl: Wanna hear a story about my рussy, wait, you'll never get it.
Boy: Вiтсh... -__-
Girl: (:
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Dirty jokes
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