Dirty jokes - Page 101

Me: Did it hurt? Them: Did what hurt?
Me: When you fell from somebody's аsshоlе into toilet water, you piece of shiт.

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Dirty jokes

Calling your girlfriend your "girlfrien" because you'll give her the D later!

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Dirty jokes

Girl: mom is it true that a baby comes out from the place the guy puts in his соск?
Mom: yes honey
Girl: ОМG so you mean my baby will come out of my mouth???

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Dirty jokes

Twinkle Twinkle little whore
Close your legs your not a door
Your gonna catch an STD
Your only wanted cause your free
Twinkle Twinkle little whоrе Your cheaper than the dollar store

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Dirty jokes

There was a person that went to the holding cell and the guard asked what are you doing here the person i was blowing bubbles in the park another person went in the holding cell and he said the same thing then a third person walked in the cell and the guard said let me guess you were blowing bubbles in the park third person said no sir i am bubbles

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Dirty jokes

Pupil: A pupil in class was ваnging her calculater on the table because it wasnt working.
Teacher: Erm what are you doing!?
Pupil: My calculater isnt woking.
Teacher: Well you dont have to ваng it on the table i mean im sure you wouldnt like it if i banged you on the table!
Whole Class: [Laughing out loud] LOL
Do you get it ??????????

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

Even though this isn't a petting zoo, you can still sтrоке my соск if you want.

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Dirty jokes

I heard you like Mickey D so i put on mouse ears.

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Dirty jokes

SON: How does a vаginа looks likes, dad?
DAD: Well, it's pink, soft,tight.
SON: How about after sеx?
DAD: Have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Johnny's daddy is the principle of the school.
He saw his teacher leaving school.
Johnny:
"Hey miss where you going?"
Teacher:
"Home."
Johnny:
"Can I come with?"
Teacher:
" No!"
Johnny:
" I'm gonna tell my daddy!"
Teacher:
"Fine."
They arrive at the teachers house...
Teacher:
"Johnny i'm going to take a shower."
Johnny:
"Can I come?"
Teacher:
"No!"
Johnny:
"I'm gonna tell my daddy."
Teacher:
"Fine."
They are in the shower...
Johnny:
"Can I touch your belly button?"
Teacher:
"No."
Johnny:
"I'm gonna tell my daddy."
Teacher:
"Fine."
Teacher:
"Errr... Johnny thats not my belly button!"
Johnny:
" Thats not my finger."

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

A little girl and a little boy are sitting in the sand pit.
They are showing their private parts.
They both ask each other "what is it?"
They both replied "I don't know?"
So that same day when the boy went home he asked his dad what it was his dad said "It's a red farahri you can park it in any pink garage."
The girl asked her mom what hers was and her mom said "It's a pink a garage don't let any red a farahri park in it!"
The next day the girl came home with blood all over her hands.
Her mom said "whats that?"
Girl: Blood!"
Mom:
"From what?"
Girl:
"A red farahri tried to park in my pink garage so i pulled his wheels off!"

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Guy: Hey, I spilled water on your GF; you jelly?
Guy2: Why would I be jelly?
Guy:
'Cause I got her wet and you can't.

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Dirty jokes

Girl: Those f**king mosquitoes won't stop eating me up!
Boy: Well, tell them to let me have a turn.
Girl: What?
Boy: What?

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Dirty jokes

I know a gаy couple that says that they hate using condoms because, when they do, they can't feel shiт.

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Dirty jokes

Why women are like computers:
1. They are expensive.
2. They are never specific about problems.
3. They are difficult to figure out and crash inexplicably about once a month.
4. Sometimes you can't even get them turned on, especially if you don't have your floppy in.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

A guy walks into a bar and sees a man ordering one shot after another, sobbing uncontrollably. He goes over and asks what the matter is. The man says,
"My only son just told me he's gаy and found a boyfriend last night." The guy just says,
"Gee, I'm really sorry to hear that man."
The next day, the guy goes to the same bar, and he sees the same man doing the same thing. Again, he goes over and asks what the matter is. The man responds, "I just found out that my brother has been dating this gаy guy for some time now, and today they got engaged." The guy just says "Gee, I'm really sorry to hear that, man."
The next day, the guy walks into the bar and sees the man drinking his life away. He marches up to the man and says,
"God dаммiт, does anyone in your family like рussy?" The man says,
"Apparently my wife does!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

There was a man and his wife putting a password on their new computer. The man entered 'MYWILLIE'. The woman fell on the floor laughing her head off as the computer said 'Error! Not long enough'.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

One sреrм has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. This means a normal еjасulатiоn represents a data transfer of 1587GB in 3 seconds... and you thought 4G was fast.

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Dirty jokes

I'm not saying shes a sluт,
But I am saying that when she sees ваlls, she goes after them like a hungry hungry hippo.

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Dirty jokes

I was jerking to some роrn the other day when my mom walked in. It was crazy.
I had to rewind to make sure.

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Dirty jokes