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Dirty jokes

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I’ve just put some holes in my dad’s condoms. I really need some help doing the dishes.
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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes
There are two types of people in the world: there are those who have lots of casual sеx with strangers -- and there's jealous people.
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
I was married at one time -- which is not the same as having sеx, but an incredible simulation.
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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
Why didn't Ken and Barbie have kids?
Ken came in a different box.
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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes
The reason I'm so fат is because every time I f*cked your mum she gave me a cookie
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Dirty jokes Fat Jokes
The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's аss and wait.
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Dirty jokes
Guy dies during a тhrееsоме. He didn't know if he was coming or going.
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Dirty jokes
Do you know that every one who post on her is flippin under the age of 15 ( like me ) mof
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Dirty jokes
Ur such a sluт people call u a bowling ball, u get fingered thrin diwn the lane and come back for more
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Dirty jokes
My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his вrа again.
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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes
Life is like sеx,
You can either lie back and let it sсrеw you, or
You an get on
Top and ride the
Hell out of it
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
I remember a few years ago when my little girl was only 8 years old, she came up to me and asked,
"Daddy, what is sеx?" I was somewhat surprised that she would ask such a question. But, I figured if she's old enough to ask the question, then surely she's old enough for a straight answer. So, I proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees."
After the explanation, my daughter was a little pale and wide-eyed in disbelief. "By the way, dear, why do you ask?" I then asked her.
She then replied, "Mommy told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
At school, this class was having a small quiz contest based on general knowledge. The teacher asked a boy from the read team a riddle."What am I? I am long on men, short on boys, and hairy." The boy blushed. "Miss, I'm too shy to say it..."
"Oh come on! Just say it, it's not even embarrassing!" Replied the teacher.
"Okay.... It's... A реnis.." Said the boy.
The teacher slaps him. "Idiот! It's a hand!"
The whole class laughs.
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School Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes
When I was 18 years old, one of my older brothers, he took me aside, and he told me he was gаy. So, I called the police. I said, 'Could you send over a cop car? My brother's a homosexual.' They said, 'Sir, we cannot send over a cop car just because your brother is gаy.' I said, 'Please? He loves a man in uniform, and it's his birthday. I want it to be a surprise.'
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Dirty jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes
What do you call a female police officer with a shaven haven??
Kuntstubble.
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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes
I was a delivery driver. I delivered burritos. Before that, I delivered pizza a couple places, so I can tell you guys, the food delivery business is not at all like its' portrayed in the adult film industry. Yeah, never once did I get that delivery to the sorority house where they're like, 'We're hungry -- but not for pizza.'
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Food Jokes Dirty jokes
Just decided on my new career, I’m going to be a reverse stripper. My plan is to become really fат, get completely nакеd, and then force people to pay me to put my clothes back on.
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Dirty jokes Fat Jokes
An old man was given a jar and asked to provide a sреrм sample for his doctor. The next day he returned with the empty jar and explained, "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, then I tried with my left. I asked my wife to help. We even called up Arlene, the lady next door. Nothing."
The doctor was shocked. He said,
"You asked your neighbor?"
"Yep," the old man replied. "None of us could get the jar open."
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Налагало се да направят изследвания на спермата на един 75 годишен човек. Шишенце Sperm Counting Chiste de la muestra de esperma Το καπάκι Το βαζάκι. Το κουτάκι ΔΙΑΦΟΡΑ ΣΟΚΙΝ 75-годишен старец отива при лекар с молба да изследват спермата му. Мужик на общем медицинском обследовании. Врач говорит ему: Мужик приходит в больницу на обследование. Мъж отива на общ медицински преглед. Докторът му казва: Alphonse, 75 ans, va voir son médecin pour une analyse de sperme. Son médecin lui donne un petit flacon et lui dit de revenir le lendemain pour l'analyse. An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. Um velhinho precisou fazer um exame de contagem de esperma. O médico deu a ele um potinho e disse: En 85-årig man från Piteå gick till doktorn och ville få gjort ett spermatest. Doktorn, som var Stockholmare, gav mannen en burk och sa: - Ta den här burken och kom tillbaka imorgon med ett... Een 85 jarige man ging naar de dokter voor een sperma-onderzoek. De dokter gaf de man een fles en vroeg hem tegen morgen wat sperma mee te brengen. De volgende dag kwam de oude man terug bij de... Após vários anos sem conseguir ter filhos, o casal decide ir consultar um especialista. — A primeira coisa que é preciso fazer — sugere o médico. — É um espermograma. Vou lhe dar este frasquinho... Bir gün ihtiyar bir adam, sperm testi yaptırmak için doktora gider. Doktor adama bir kavanoz verir şöyle der: ─ Buna numune için sperm koyun, yarın bana getirin. Ertesi gün ihtiyar adam kavanozu... 75-latek przyszedł do lekarza na badanie nasienia. Lekarz dał mu słoiczek i powiedział: - Proszę wziąć ten słoiczek do domu i przynieść na jutro dawkę spermy. Następnego dnia dziadek przychodzi i... Πάει ένας πενηντάχρονος στον γιατρό για εξέταση σπέρματος. Του δίνει ο γιατρός ένα μπουκαλάκι και του λέει να το φέρει γεμάτο. Έρχεται την επόμενη στο γιατρό απογοητευμένος με το μπουκάλι άδειο. -... El doctor le pide una muestra de esperma a un hombre de 85 años como parte de su chequeo anual. El doctor le da un frasco y le dice: "Lleve este frasco a casa y tráigalo de regreso mañana con la... Un vieil homme de 70 ans est allé à un test de sperme. Le docteur lui a donné une bouteille pour collecter le sperme. Le lendemain, l'homme arrive avec la bouteille vide, puis dit au docteur : -... 85-erių metų senuko daktaras paprašė tyrimams atnešti spermos. Padavė stiklinį indelį ir pasakė: - Jūs ramiai parsineškit namo ir atneškite rytoj analizams savo spermos. Kitą dieną senukas... The 85 year old man goes to the doctor's do get a check up, the doc says that he needs a sperm count and sends an empty jar home with the man. The next day, he comes back with an empty jar. When... An 80 year old man is given a jar to provide a sperm sample for the doctor, he turns up two days later with an empty jar. The doctor asks ‘Why don;t you have a sperm sample?’ The man says ‘Sorry, I... Ένας πενηντάχρονος, πάει στο γιατρό για εξέταση σπέρματος. Ο γιατρός του δίνει ένα άδειο βαζάκι και του λέει να το φέρει με δείγμα. Την άλλη μέρα πάει ο πενηντάχρονος με το βαζάκι άδειο. - Τι... Komt een man van 80 jaar met zijn aanstaande vrouw Van 20 jaar bij de dokter. Zij willen graag nog een kind, Maar de oude man wil van tevoren eerst even zijn sperma laten controleren. Dus krijgt... Un batran de 75 de ani merge La spital sa faca o analiza a spermei. Doctorul ii Da un borcanel si-i spune: - Ia borcanul asta Si vino cu analiza maine! A doua zi, batranul Apare, cu borcanul la fel... Bjarne skulle ta en sædprøve og fikk med seg et prøveglass hjem fra legen. En uke senere kom han tilbake med tomt glass, og legen lurte på hvorfor det var tomt. "Jo, nå skal du høre," sa Bjarne,...
Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes
Q. Why do gаy people love Scotland?
A. Because the men wear skirts and the country’s full of tight arses.
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Dirty jokes Men jokes
Roses are red,
Violets are twisted,
Now bend over,
You are about to get fisted
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Dirty jokes
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