Dirty jokes

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All раnтiеs aside, it's Friday.

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Dirty jokes

Did you hear about the nакеd woman who robbed a bank?
Nobody could remember her face.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

Please don't call it a red dwarf.

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Dirty jokes

My dad was showing me pictures of why to wear condoms during sеx. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

A kid goes up to his dad after school and says,
"Dad, I just had sеx with my teacher." The dad is proud and offers to buy the kid a bicycle. So, he takes his son to the store and lets him pick out a bike. Afterwards, the dad asks "Do you wanna ride your new bike home?" and the son says,
"No, my аss still hurts." DmR

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Teacher:why did you bring your cat to school
Jimmy:I overheard my dad talking to my mum and he said when jimmy goes to school I'm gonna eat that pussy

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School Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

They say in show business never work with children or animal. That’s especially true when making adult movies.

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Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

Boy:what do u call a black man having sex
Girl:rape

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I had a girlfriend that was 5'11. She wanted to have sеx standing up in the shower. I rocked that sh*t. She almost dropped me a couple times, but I rocked that sh*t.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

When you have sеx with a рrоsтiтuте without her permission, is it called rаре … or shoplifting?

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Just been arrested by the police after recently being given the part of Romeo in my local theater. The script clearly said ‘Enter Juliet from behind’.

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Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes

Guy: This chair is too hard.
Me: So was my diск last night but i didn't hear your mom complain.

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Dirty jokes

Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

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Dirty jokes

Girl:
'showering, Baby brother walks in'
Boy: What are those?
Girl: These are my balloons
Boy: Okay
The next morning the girl wakes up in hospital
Girl: What happened?
Boy: I was playing with your balloons last night but then they just popped.

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Dirty jokes

Are there any single women here? I'm going to let you know right now -- I am great in bed. I can sleep 12-14 hours at a clip.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Single People Jokes

My wife swallowed my man yogurt this morning for the first time.
I don’t she’ll ever ask me to make her a sandwich again.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Boy:Mum its my birthday.
Mum:ok
Fue mins later
Boy:Mum can i go in the shower with you
Mum:no
Boy:but its my birthday
Mum:ok
Boy:Mumy whats that
Mum: its a bush
Boy:whats that
Mum:its headlight
After school
Boy:dad can i go in the shower whith you
Dad:no
Boy:but its my birthday
Dad:ok
Boy:dady whats that
Dad:its a snake
Boy:ok
During that night
The boy opens the door to his parants room while they were haveing sex
Boy:Mumy,Dady the snake is going in the bush turn on the headlights. vote kikass please

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Three things funerals and sеx have in common!
1. They both put a stiff in a box.
2. They both require lots of tissues.
3. They can both sometimes make people cry.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

A guy brought his girl from college home to meet his parents. Since he had already moved out, his room had been replaced with the Mothers office, so the guy and his girlfriends had to sleep on the stop bunk of his little brothers bed. Whenever they thought his little brother was asleep, they began there "nightly thing". He told her to say lettuce for harder, and turkey for a different position. "Lettuce, turkey, lettuce, letuce, LETTTUUUCCCEEE" Then the little brother screamed "Ughhhh STOP MAKING SANDWICHES! Y'all are getting mayonaise all over me!"

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

So, my wife's lying there. She's smoking her special after-sеx Benson and Hedges 9000. She goes, 'You know, John, we've been married a long time. Maybe it's time we thought about having a тhrееsоме.'
'Yeah.' Then I said, 'You know what, Fran? I'm 260, you're 180 -- I think we just had a тhrееsоме.'

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