Dirty jokes - Page 100

Girl: I wear heels вiggеr than your diск.
Boy: I wear Vans cleaner than your рussy.

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Dirty jokes

One day, wife asked her husband
Who many girls slept with you.. Husband replied -'no one' all girls were awake with me full night.. You are the one who slept wid me every night...

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Dirty jokes

Boy: Why is it stuck!
Girl: I don't know, you put it in to far I guess.
Boy: This always happens to me.
Girl: Here let me try * pulls and makes noises*
Boy: thanks. That would've ruined my only pencil.

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Dirty jokes

Three guys went to a skiing lodge and asked for a room the clerk says "Oh sorry we are out of rooms we only have one available" one of the guys says "Thats fine we can share". So during midnight the guy on the very left woke up saying "Dude i had a wiered dream that i was having a hаndjов", the guy on the right side woke up saying the same thing, then the gun in the very middle woke up saying "Thats funny i had a dream that i was sking" :p

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Dirty jokes

Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only сuмs once a year.
Oohhhhh...*slaps knee*..

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Dirty jokes

What do you call 2 lеsвiаns in a closet?? Liquor Cabinet......

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Dirty jokes

A girl and a boy are in a room. The boy asks the girl if she has any irish in her. She says no. He begins to take off his pants and says
"Ya want some"

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Dirty jokes

There where 2 lost men that came along a house. They rang the door веll as a man came out and offered them to sleep the night. One of the men slept in the barn with the mans daughters and the other man slept inside the house. The next morning the man asked how they slept and the man that slept with the girls in the barn said,
" I was like a bunny. I jumped from hole to hole!"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Why being black is so hard?
Well, being black is so long and thick too... why don't you complain about that?

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Dirty jokes

Security at a bank seen a man that diposit thousand of dollars everyday so he disided to ask that man how do you make so much money man said I make bets, security: well what type of bets, man: I tell people I have 4 ваlls, Security I don't Believe you, man: You want to bet $100.00, Security well yeah is impossible I think I will win, man ok after closing time ill prove to you that I have 4 ваlls, security ok, so after the last person walks out the man said hurry up stick your hand in, security hey I won Here i feel two ваlls, man: ok you won but do you see a couple people up in the tall building I bet them $1,000 each that you will grab my ваlls.

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Money jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Friend: dude tomorrow is my girlfriend's birthday... what should i give her?
Me: give her your dick
Friend: idiот... i want something big for her..
Me: give her my diск then

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Whats big hard and throbbing?
My head after "that kind" of party but which one?

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Dirty jokes

One day a little boy and a little girl were taking a bath because they didn't know what anything meant yet. The little girl looked down and saw the boys реnis and asked "what's that?". The boy said "i don't know i will ask my daddy.". And then the boy looked down and saw her vаginа and asked "what's that?". The girl said "i don't know, i will ask my mommy.". So they both go home and ask there parents.
The boy said "daddy what's this?". His dad said "son that's your car, you try and put it in a girls garage.". The boy said oh and ran upstairs to play.
The girl said "mommy what's this?'. The mom said "honey that's your garage, you don't let boys park there cars in there.". The girl said "oh." and ran upstairs to play.
The next day the little boy and girl were takink another bath and told eachother what there parents said. The boy remembering what his dad said tried to put his 'car' in her 'garage'.
A couple minutes later the girl ran home crying with blood all over her. The mom said "honey what happened?!?!?". The girl said "a boy tried to put his car in my garage so i slit his back tires!!!".

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

There was a person sitting on the park bench. Some kids ran past and called him a motherf*cker. He didn't know what it was so he went he and asked his mother. His mother was startled so she said it means guests or friends. The next day some people said he was a рussy. Again he asked his mother and she said it was food. A few days later he heard a conversation and some said"having sеx."He asked his mum and she said getting ready. His girlfriend and her paremts came and he told them"hello motherf*ckers,рussy is on the the table. Mm and dad are having sеx.

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Kids Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes Dad Jokes

Two preists were in the showers. One of the preist gets out to get spme soap when three nuns walk in. The preist instantly freezes hold a bar of soap in each hand. "what a life like statue" syays one of the nuns and they all start feeling the preist all over. One nun pulls his diск and he drops a bar of soap. " And its a soap despencer as well!" the nun says. the second nun pulls his diск and he drops another bar of soap. the thrid nun pulls his diск and nothin happens. she pulls again this time harder but still nothing happens. she pulls his diск again and again until at last she says "and its a moisturiser!!!"

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Dirty jokes

Roses are red, poems are corny, take me to bed I'm feeling hоrny. When roses are red they need to be plucked, and next time I see you, you're gonna get f*cked.

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Dirty jokes

Me: I stopped a girl from getting rареd today.
Friend: Really!? How?
Me: Self control bro, self control.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

- ”Smells fresh. Like a tropical island.”
"Ok. Now take off the blindfold! Your family's been dead in this car for a week! We Febrezed it!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes

Firend: tell me a clean joke.
Me: ok, i took a bath with bubbles.
Friend: now tell me a dirтy joke.
Me: ok, bubbles is the girl next door.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Guy: i bet i cant touch your воовs without using my hands.
Girl: ok.
*Guy touches girls воовs*
Guy: nope, cant do it.

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Dirty jokes