Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What’s the difference between Rolf Harris and an Israeli soldier?
When Rolf fuскs children he always takes them to McDonald’s first.

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Dirty jokes Military Jokes

I came up with what I thought was a good idea. I'm like, I'm gonna start jerking off in the shower. Genius, I figured, she'll never catch me in there. And it was working out pretty well, too, until they took away my gym membership.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

Now that's an extreme religion: Amish. Oh my God, it's against their religion -- it's a sin for them -- to ride in a car. Then I heard an Amish guy got hit and killed by a car. Isn't that ironic? That would be like a Jewish person being electrocuted by some Christmas lights or a Catholic choking on a соndом -- just ironic.

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Religion jokes God Jokes Dirty jokes Christmas Jokes

Me: Hey dad, do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a little kid?
Dad: Yeah
Me: Well I just saw him the other day and he wanted me to tell you he says hi.
Dad: Fuск you

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

1000 kick аssеs I will ask my teacher to f*ck

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Dirty jokes

Маsтurватing is wrong in some people's eyes... Also, it burns.

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Dirty jokes

How did the snowman get happy?
The snowblower came around

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Dirty jokes

My neighbor always hide his women's asthma inhailer so she can scream at him:
"Give it to me!!!!! Give it to me!!!!" so the neighbours could think he is a stud. ;-)

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

I hate you, you hate me, Barney rареd you on T. V he turned off the lights and shut the door, what a hоrny dinosaur.

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Dirty jokes

You know what's great about being married? When dessert comes, you just shove it in your pie hole and you move on to the Promised Land. You just look at each other -- we're going to get fат and we're still going to have sеx.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Fat Jokes

Why do tampons have no friends?
Because they’re stuck up kunts.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his diск. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!"

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes

There are three friends, Shut the hеll up, Your manners, and Bear Shiт. One day they're in the woods and bear shiт gets lost and your manners looks for him. Shut the hеll up goes to the police station "my friend is missing can you help me?" The officer says "what's your name?"
"Shut the hеll up"
"What?" Shut the hеll up"
"Say that again?" Shut the hеll up!"
"Son where's your manners?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you! He's out in the woods looking for bear shiт"

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes Friendship Jokes

I didn't like being single, man, because I didn't get laid that much, you know. I remember one time, I got this gal back to my place, and I was like, 'So you want to have some sеx?' She was like, 'Well, I don't normally do this but -- I'm going to pass.'

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes

Person: tell your mum to stop changing her lipstick my diск is starting to look like a rainbow
You: try washing it for once

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Dirty jokes

A king went for hunting.. spotted a bear. He aimed at the bear and shot at it but missed it. The bear notices that he missed comes close to him and said suск my соск as you missed me. King accepts his defeat and suскs the bear's соск. In kings second attempt he missed the bear.. He suскs bear's соск once again. Now the king was so рissеd off.. Trains himself to shoot accurately and hides to кill the bear this time. On his 3rd attempt he missed the bear again.
Now the bear comes near the king and said
Are you coming here to кill me or suск my соск!![

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Dirty jokes

I had gonorrhea in February -- I know, I was shocked as well. I didn't have any typical symptoms. The only symptom I had was a searing earache from my girlfriend screaming at me for giving her gonorrhea.

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Dirty jokes

Not saying shes a hое but shes probably had more nuts in her mouth than a squirrel preparing for winter

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Dirty jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid that she went to see a doctor the other day because she found a сrаск in her аss.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

Two friend are having an argument:
Friend 1: I f*cking hate you dude
Friend 2: What I do so wrong?
Friend 1: You had sеx with my mom you Motherf*cker
Friend 2: Poor choice of words.......

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes