Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

If God hadn't meant the рussy to be eaten, he wouldn't have made it look like a taco.

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God Jokes Dirty jokes

A man was playing a game of golf with an assassin. In the middle of the game, they had a conversation.
Assassin:
"Hey, isn't that your wife and some guy f*cking in the car?"
Man:
"Oh my God, it is! Hey, I want you to shoot both of them for me, ok?"
Assassin:
"Okay, but I charge a thousand dollars per shot."
Man:
"Deal. I want you to shoot my wife in the head and the guy in the diск.
The assassin sets up his shotgun and he says this
Assassin:
"Hey, its your lucky day! Your about to get a two for one!"

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God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Therapist: So, what's the problem?
Girlfriend: He just uses me for sеx.
Boyfriend: She is just using me for my money.
Therapist: So, what's the problem?

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Money jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I’ve decided I’m never going to jack off in the shower ever again.
Just been informed by the police that I’ve now been given a lifetime ban from the Auschwitz Museum.

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Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes

The most unusual person I ever dated was a cop. She was a police woman. First night in bed she goes, 'Do you have any protection?' I said, 'You.'

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes

Those who abstain from pre-marital sеx will argue that the greatest gift a woman can offer a man is her virginity. Not necessarily -- everything has a shelf life. I like cheesecake, but not if it's been sitting in the freezer for 30 years.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

Dad- Say daddy
Baby-Mommy
Dad- No say daddy...
Baby- No mommy
Daddy- Fuск you say daddy...
Babby Fuск you mommy
Mom-(Walks in the door)---What are you doing
Daddy- trying to get the baby to say daddy Baby Mommy
Daddy- (says quitley) fuск you say mommy
Mommy- WHat did you say..
Babby- Fuск you mommy
Mommy- BABY WERE DID YOU LEARN THAT!!?!
Babby- DADDY
Dad- SHIT

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Do you guys know that to hang out with you, we pretend we understand football? Do you know that faking football has replaced faking the оrgаsм in America?

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Dirty jokes USA Jokes

Q. How do you turn your bath into a Jacuzzi for under $1?
A. Eat lots of beans.

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Dirty jokes

I'm not into that кinкy, freaky stuff where you put peanut butter under your armpits and liск it off. If I want a sandwich, I get up and go make me a sandwich. I ain't lickin' nothing off your body. That's nasty.

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Dirty jokes

What's a rарisт's favorite day? huмр day

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Dirty jokes

People who are scared of pedophiles need to grow up.

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Dirty jokes

Friends are like воовs. Some big,some small. Some real, some fake.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a kid well hes back in town and looking for you.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Twinkle twinkle little hoe
Shut your legs they're not a door
Boys only like you cause your free
Cheaper than a money tree
Twinkle twinkle little hoe
Shut your legs they're not a door

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

Guy: Hey im desperate for good sex
Girl: Your Mom and Dad were desperate for good sеx but it was not good enough.
Guy: Why?
Girl: Cause you came out of your moms vаginа 9 months later
Guy: Sсrеw you!

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

A little girl walks up to her mum and pulls down her pants.
Little Girl:Mummy what's this?
Mum:That's your garage.
A little boy walks up to his dad and says.
Little Boyad what's this?
Dad:This is your car, you'll have to put this in a girls garage someday.
The little girl comes home one day and the mum asks.
Mum:What Happened?!
Little Girl: A boy tried to put his car in my garage so I ripped his wheels off.

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

“A cucumber, a pickle, and a реnis are sitting at a bar complaining about their lives. The cucumber says,
"My life suскs. I'm put in salads, and, to top them off, they pour ranch dressing all over me. My life suскs." The pickle says,
"That's nothing compared to my life. I'm put in vinegar and stored away for months, out of sight. Man, my life is boring. I hate life." So the реnis says,
"What are you guys complaining about? My life is so messed up that I feel like shooting myself. They constantly wrap me in a plastic bag, shove me in a cave, and make me do push-ups until I throw up.”

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

I got this new drug -- it's called the Internet. I don't know if you've ever heard of that. It's a drug, 'cause one minute, you're sitting down, checking your e-mail, and four hours later, your pants are down to your ankles, and you feel awkward and lonely. And you know you should get up and walk away, but you can't.

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Dirty jokes Internet Jokes

I told my girlfriend that I have a соск to take care of this weekend. I wonder what she has against chickens?

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Dirty jokes