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Dirty jokes

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Just seen a sign that made me sh*t myself…
It said “Bathroom closed”.
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Dirty jokes
I need to check out your tailpiece.
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Dirty jokes
Q. What do you call an Irish Lеsвiаn?
A. Gаy-lic
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Dirty jokes
I saw a commercial the other day for a girdle. And you know what that is, right? That's deception, ladies. These are the same women that get mad when guys lie to them. 'I thought you were single.'
'I thought you were slim.'
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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Single People Jokes
When do you kick a мidgет in the ваlls?
When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice.
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Dirty jokes
I love to share things with people who don’t have what I’ve got. I think that’s why I love sеx with women so much.
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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
3 reasons why women undress themselves in front of men.
1. She really wants your D.
2. You’re in row Z of the friend zone.
3. She hasn’t seen you hiding in the tree.
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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes
Friend: My diск is so big that it goes from a to z!
You: Yea! Just look at your keyboard.
Friend: O. O
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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes
I knew my parents had sеx. I just didn't think they liked it.
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
After having failed his exam, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student:
“Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”
Professor:
“Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”
Student:
“Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you to give me an “A” for the Exam.”
Professor:
“Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”
Student:
“What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers:
“Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 17 Year old lover, which is logical but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal nor logical.”
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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes
Teacher: Jimmy, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Jimmy: A lumberjack.
Teacher: Why?
Jimmy: So I can whack my wood all day long.
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Dirty jokes
Are you from Pennsylvania cause I want to stick my pen in your sylvania
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Dirty jokes
The following conversation took place between a couple at the cinema.
Girlfriend: I think the guy next to me is jerking off.
Boyfriend: Just ignore him.
Girlfriend: I can’t.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: He’s using my hand.
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Dirty jokes
Look, I'm not say she a hое, but she's like a pool table. . For twenty-five cents she'll rack your ваlls.
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Dirty jokes
New condoms that change colour when they come in contact with STDs sound brilliant, All except for the part that it's likely that people with STDs don't use condoms.
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Dirty jokes
I'm in London -- I'm in Piccadilly Circus -- and I feel this guy grab my knapsack. I turn around, and he's like, 'Oop! You caught me. I'm a pickpocket. Can I buy you a drink?' So, I had sеx with him.
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
Once that baby hits, you go from being lovers to teammates. It's like, 'Feed her. Pass her. Burp her. Pass her. Clean her. Pass her. Diaper. Pass her.' At the end of the night, we're too tired for sеx. We just fall into bed and high five:
'Way to burp her.'
'Nice wipe.'
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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
When I was younger I used to think I was gаy but then I found out that playing with yourself doesn’t count.
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Dirty jokes
I had sеx with a Japanese man once. It was great. He made me origami three times.
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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
My mom's a sеx therapist. On Take Your Daughter to Work Day, I hooked up with two guys.
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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes
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