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Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I even shaved above the knee for this one, you guys. Woo-hoo! I am feeling saucy now. You ever have somebody talk you into shaving the whole thing off? God, it looks so sтuрid. I look like a great big nакеd baby.

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God Jokes Dirty jokes

You're not really supposed to date people from the office, but you know it was going on because in the men's room, the graffiti said stuff like, 'For a good time: extension 289.'

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Sеx is so weird now. Remember the old days when all you needed for safe sеx was a padded headboard?

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Looking at you is getting my diск harder than Chuck Norris

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Dirty jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Gаy-аss:
"Your can't see your реnis in the shower."
Me:
"Dамn right because all I see when I look down is your sister's head."

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Dirty jokes

When I was younger, if a girlfriend was bothering a president, the CIA killed her.

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Dirty jokes

Will you be my offline permalink?

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Dirty jokes

Dating is a lot like fishing.
They both leave your hands smelling of fish afterwards.

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Dirty jokes

I don't know if you've ever been to Ireland. They are really the nicest people on the face of the earth. You do a show there, you walk into the pub in Ireland -- you have five best friends immediately. I walk into the bar, the first guy I see goes, 'Tell me something.' I'm like, 'Alright.' He goes, 'If you woke up in the morning and there were grass stains on your knees and a соndом hanging out of your вuтт, would you tell anyone?' I'm like, 'Nope. I don't think so. No.' He goes, 'Would you like to go camping with me, laddy?'

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

We have this other friend, he's a homophobe. Now it's really weird 'cause the three of us, we can't hang out together. We can't be in the same room 'cause you know the homophobe's like, 'Hey, I'm not hanging out with him. He's going to try and have sеx with me.' Why would he want that? 'Because he's gаy and I'm a guy.' Dude, women don't want to f**k you. You don't appeal to heterosexuals. Now you think you're homolicious? What's wrong with you?

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hеll do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a вlоw job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you... I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

This chick tried to get me fired today for giving her an inappropriate massage in the office. I said “Good luck with that sweetheart, I don’t even work here!”

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

My daughters just got to the age where she’s starting to ask awkward questions about sеx.
Then other day she asked “Is that the best you can do?”

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I don't see how sеx jokes are funny?
I mean сuм on people

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I'm looking into a new health insurance plan. I thought, you know, I'm a woman, I should really ask if they cover abortions. Then I remembered I never have sеx. So, if I do get pregnant, I'd probably want to have the baby Jesus.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

My wife dresses up like a nurse; then, I dress up like a nurse, also. And then, we don't even have sеx, either -- we just sit behind this huge, semicircular wooden desk and get annoyed when people buzz us for juice.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Q - What's the name of a Muslim mother who loves suскing diск?
A - Yo momma Bin Slobbin'.

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Dirty jokes Yo Momma Jokes

I Bet You Can't Guess These Words
1. F__k
2. P_n_s
3. S_x
4 . Pu_s_
5. Boo_s
6. __Ndom.
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1= Fork
2= Pants
3= Six
4= Pulse
5= Boots
6= Random
Dirty minded

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Dirty jokes

What is the definition of disgusting?
Buying condoms from a secondhand shop.

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Dirty jokes

I'm very lazy. I had kind of a lazy, do-nothing day today. I didn't get a lot done. But I did invent a new word -- that's something -- and the word is 'procrastorbate.' I think a lot of you have been there. I don't think I have to explain it. Basically, I don't know what you did or didn't do, but if you did them both: procrastorbating.

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Dirty jokes