Dirty jokes

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Manipulating his genitalia' -- I don't think that's a very accurate description of маsтurватing, you know? 'Cause that's like implying that I'm lying to my genitalia or tricking it into doing that, which I've never done. I've never been like, 'Hey, genitalia, you wanna just hang out on the couch tonight, watch a movie? I'm not gonna try anything. It's totally cool, you know? I'm really tired.'

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Dirty jokes

Please let me seal off your O-ring.

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Dirty jokes

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

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Dirty jokes

Comedian: Are you gаy or straight?
Buffoon: Straight
Comedian: OK, How many eyes does a black chicken have?
Buffoon: 2
Comedian: How many Strands of hair does a cat have?
Buffoon: IDK?!?!?!?!
Comedian: How many feet does a black chicken have?
Buffoon: 2
Comedian: How many whiskers do cats have?
Buffoon: IDK?!?!?!?!
Comedian: Why do you know so much about black соскs and nothing about рussy?

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Dirty jokes

What nutrients do вlоwjовs give people?
Vitamin D

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Dirty jokes

Let's play carpenter. First we'll get hammered, then i'll nail you.

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Dirty jokes

My new girlfriend is an animal in bed. Her рussy is wetter than a retards сhin.

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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

Teacher catches a boy jerking off and says "omfg what the heck are you doing boy"
Boy replies :
- Ma'am i want you to help me .
Teacher :
- What the fuск son get the hеll outta here .
Teacher walks meanwhile boy throws banana wrapper !! boy:
- See i got you on your knees b*tch , now swallow that .

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Dirty jokes

My server went down on me today, I love the waitresses at Ноотеrs.

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Dirty jokes

Have the best girlfriend in the world.
She's a sword swallower

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Dirty jokes

I hate new couples, that's what I hate; old couples I respect. You've been with somebody 10 years, I respect that. It's the new love I don't like, with all the car door open, kissing and touching and dating. 'Cause that's bullsh*t. Everybody in here knows that real love is when you don't give a dамn about each other.

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Dirty jokes

Was your аss forged by Sauron because it is precious!

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Dirty jokes

I don't know why you ladies complain about nasty lingerie. It never stays on that long.

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Dirty jokes

What do you call a Greek man with a тамроn on his head?…
Abzorba the Greek

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Just found out that my local brothel has gone out of business. They’ve got a sign on the window that says “Beat it, we’re closed”.

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Dirty jokes

Let me know if my beard tickles.

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Dirty jokes

How'd you like to route my packet?

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Dirty jokes

Boy: Mmm,so tight
Girl: I know but you gotta get it out,
Uhh
Mom: What the f*ck
Boy: Mom my finger got stuck in a hole
Girl: Yeah and it won't come out

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Dirty jokes

I hope that's not an ejection seat.

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Dirty jokes

Ladies, my whole point is do not -- do not -- feel like you gotta do these tricks for us. Don't -- 'cause the average guy does not care. Do we? No, we don't. As long as the hole is safe and clean -- seriously.

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Dirty jokes