"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?""Sure, why do you ask.""I was going to offer you some toast.""How kind of... I'll accept.""Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger.""You're right about that!""Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!" 17 0 0
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again! 17 0 0
One cutting edge aquarium saved a lot of money when its owner discovered a means to make the dolphins live forever -- since the dolphins never died, no money needed to be spent on buying new ones.Extending the dolphins' lives required putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients was baby sea gull meat.So one day, one of the workers was sent to the beach to find some.On the way back, baby sea gulls in hand, he had to pass through a forest.In the middle of the path was a sleeping lion.He very carefully stepped over it, only to be handcuffed by a policeman."Officer," he said,"What's going on?""You're under arrest," said the policeman."But why?" he asked.The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises." 16 0 0
Lays сhiрs claims "No one can eat just one".Wrong.Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos. 16 0 0
What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water?I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed. 16 0 0