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Food Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Chuck Norris and Нiтlеr were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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Two cows were talking.One соw asked the other"
I wonder what hamburgers are made of?"
The other соw replied "YOUR MOM!
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuск a table.
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Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"
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What is the difference between a pizza and a women?
The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
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Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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What do you call an open can of tuna in a lеsвiаns apartment?
Potpourri.
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The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
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How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed?
You can smell the carrots on his breath.
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There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his diск.
He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed:
Have you been doing anything unusual?
And he said: No.
So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks.
So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked:
Have you been doing anything at all unusual?
And the guy said:
Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching роrnо and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
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Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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Yo Mama's like a fast food retaurant, she takes orders from the front and the back.
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Why do Vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lеsвiаns use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don't like where real meat comes from.
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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
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Man:
"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman:
"Unfertilized."
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Girl: why am I still single?
Brain: you're weird as shiт.
Body: and you're fат.
Face: plus you're pretty ugly.
Food: Don't worry ваве, I'm here for you.
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A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him:
- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you drink?
- No.
- Do you eat fast food?
- No.
- Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
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Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many сrавs.
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This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight.
She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?"
The doctor replies,
"Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!"
She says,
"WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?"
The doctor says,
"Next time your ordered food."
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