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Holiday Jokes

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Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
A: They go to town and вlоw a couple of bucks.
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes
Защо Дядо Мраз е винаги весел? Основната причина Дядо Коледа винаги да е толкова весел е, Санта такой веселый в основном потому, что знает, где живут все плохие девочки. I would like to be Santa Claus … …. He knows where all the naughty girls live. Dlaczego Mikołaj jest zawsze uśmiechnięty? Jako jedyny zna adresy wszystkich grzesznych dziewczynek... Чому Дід Мороз завжди щасливий? — Тому що він знає, де живуть погані дівчатка. Waarom is het zo dat Sinterklaas altijd blij is? Hij weet waar de stoutste jongetjes en meisjes wonen. Miksi joulupukki vaikuttaa niin epäilyttävän tyytyväiseltä? Koska hän tietää missä tuhmat tytöt asuvat. Ved du hvorfor julemanden får så meget sex ? Fordi han ved hvor alle de uartige piger bor! - De ce e Mos Craciun mereu fericit? - Pentru ca stie unde stau fetitele rele... - Kodėl Kalėdų Senelis ištisus metus laimingas? - Todėl, kad žino kur gyvena blogos mergaitės.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
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Sports Jokes Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
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School Jokes Holiday Jokes
Малко момченце пише писмо до Дядо Коледа: Дете: Желба A little boy wrote to Santa ... Α letter to santa Claus Un bambino a babbo natale: Малко момченце писало на Дядо Коледа: "Изпрати ми сестричка!". Маленький хлопчик написав Діду Морозу: Dziecko do świętego Mikołaja: - Przyślij mi na święta braciszka. Święty Mikołaj do dziecka: - To przyślij mi przed świętami swoją mamusię. Un enfant écrit au Père Noël : - Cher Père Noël, pour Noël, mon voeu le plus cher serait d'avoir une petite soeur. Réponse du Père Noël : - Pas de problème, envoie-moi ta mère! En gang skrev en lille dreng til julemanden ”Gider du være sød og give mig en lillesøster?”. Så skrev julemanden tilbage ”Okay, lån mig lige din mor” Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother." Bambino: “Caro Babbo Natale, come regalo quest’anno mandami un fratellino”. Babbo Natale: “Caro bambino, mandami tua madre”. Bulişor îi scrie lui Moş Crăciun: - Anul asta, să-mi trimiţi un frăţior! De Crăciun, Bulişor nu primeşte nimic. Supărat, îi scrie din nou lui Moş Crăciun: - De ce nu mi-ai trimis frăţiorul? Anul... Bula, la 5 ani ii trimite scrisoare mosului de Craciun: ,,Draga Mosule, vreau sa am un fratior mai mic'' Mosul o citeste, si ii trimite lui Bula o alta scrisoare: ,,Atunci trimite-mi-o pe mamica ta!'' Un copilas ii scrie lui Mos Craciun: - Trimite-mi un fratior Mos Craciun raspunde: - Trimite-mi-o mai intaii pe mata. Pepíček píše Ježíškovi „Pošli mi sestřičku“. On odpovídá „Tak mi pošli maminku.“ Toto écrit au Père Noël : - «Cher Pere Noel, Cette année, ce que je voudrais, c'est une petite soeur. Toto» Il reçoit une réponse quelques jours plus tard : - «Cher Toto, Pas de problèmes,... Му пишало некое дете на Дедо Мраз „Дедо Мраз те молам прати ми сестричка". Дедо Мраз му пишал "Ок, прати ја мајка ти"
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says:
"Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas."
Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
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Christmas Jokes Kids Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
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Christmas Jokes Sex Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.
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Dark Humor Jokes Holiday Jokes
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day?
A: TWERKY!
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Christmas Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs!
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Food Jokes Holiday Jokes Waiter Jokes Restaurant Jokes
Q: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
A: Because they are suckers.
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Holiday Jokes Vampire jokes
Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!
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One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Holiday Jokes
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
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Holiday Jokes
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music?
A: Wrap!
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Holiday Jokes Kids Jokes
Q: Why do pilgrims pants fall down?
A: Because their belts are on their hats.
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Holiday Jokes
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Holiday Jokes Vampire jokes
Johnny wanted to get his mom something nice for Christmas but she’s hard to shop for. Passing a pet store he thought, "Hmm, a pet might be a good idea." He walked in the pet store and asked the manager what might be a good idea. "How about a puppy?"
"No," said Johnny. "It may роор around the house."
"A fish?"
"No, her house is small, so I don’t think an aquarium will fit." Johnny then spied a parrot and asked, "How about that parrot?"
"Oh," said the manager, "That’s Chet. He’s very expensive."
"Well," said Johnny, "It’s my mom let’s take a look." The manager went to Chet, put a lighter under his left wing, and Chet started to sing "Jingle bells, jingle bells..." Then the manager put a lighter under Chet’s right wig and it started to sing, "Dashing through the snow..."
"Wow!" said Johnny, "What else does he sing?" The manager held the lighter under Chet’s crotch at which point Chet sang, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."
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Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes Boss Jokes
Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.
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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Holiday Jokes Vampire jokes
Three men die and meet Peter at the pearly gates. Three men are killed in an auto accident on Christmas Eve and ascend to heaven, where they’re met by Saint Peter. “In order to get in,” he tells them, “you must each produce something... Three men had been at a wild office party and died in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They soon found themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. But before they could pass, Saint... Three men wait at the gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. They're told they have to present a Christmas gift to get in. The first man checks his pockets and finds pine needles from his family's tree....
Three men all die on Christmas Day and arrive at the pearly gates. Peter greets them and tells them that they are all evil men who should go to hеll, but because it's Christmas, he'll let them into heaven if they have something representing the holiday with them. One of the guys has a Christmas ornament, and gets let in. Another guy has pine needles on his shirt, and gets let in. The third guy pulls out a pair of раnтiеs. "How do those represent Christmas?" asks Peter. "These are Carol's."
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Men jokes Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
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Holiday Jokes Animal Jokes
What's a turkey's favorite song? "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"
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Christmas Jokes Holiday Jokes
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