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Kids Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

“Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.”
“How long have you had this feeling?”
“Ever since I was a kid.”

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Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Comebacks for fат people
Bully:
"You know, you are what you eat"
Fat kid:
"Maybe that's why you're such a diск"
Class:
"Oooooooooh"

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Fat Jokes

What’s the biggest cause of реdорhiliа?
Sexy kids

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Boy: hey bro I looked at a blind kid and he stated crying
Me:you should be used to things like that

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Not like these wimpy bumper cars they have now with padding, seat belts and air bags. Back then, it was just metal, that's it. It was like sitting in a wheelbarrow. If you got hit, man, there was some permanent damage.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes

Q. What do you call a person who goes on talking when nobody listens?
A. A teacher!

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Kids Jokes

Bully: You;re so skinny you get rejected by the wheelchair.
Kid:At least i fit in a wheel chair

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

They have keys to my house, which is -- that's a mistake. They're supposed to be emergency keys, and their idea of an emergency is to come in and leave me apple juice.

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Kids Jokes

My mom is a major pain in the аss. Let me explain -- my mom is a 'camera mom.' Everybody's got that one person in their family, but it ain't their mom. All they do is walk around and go, 'Wait, don't move, let me go get my camera.' All my life I got that. It didn't even have to be camera moments. Like when I was all dressed up to go to the prom by myself, 'Wait! Let me get my camera!'
'Uh, we don't need a camera for this. I'm gonna remember this sh*t for the rest of my life.'

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

The mother of a small child was concerned about her daughter’s selfish behavior and gave her something of a lecture, stressing that we are put in this world to help others.
Her daughter seemed much impressed and sat silently, thinking and scratching her head.
At last she looked up and said, “Mommy?”
“Yes, dear?” replied her mother.
“What I want to know is, what are the others for?”

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Kids Jokes

Bully: Hey I bet I have more friends then you loser HA
Kid: Yep you know what... you do.
Bully: You wanna know why its cuz....
Kid: Yeah its cuz they all feel sorry for you.
Everyone Else: OOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

I've been here eight months. I have been in two earthquakes, a race riot, floods and fires, and I left New York because I couldn't handle my mother.

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Kids Jokes

So while a wife was contributing to the preparation of dinner inside she was feeling a bit self conscious about her but getting larger. In an attempt to get some support she goes out to her husband who was cooking on the bbq and says,
"Honey do you think my аss is big?". He looks up and then back at his grilling and just chuckles and says,
" big! Its almost as big as this bbq." Totally hurt she goes back inside. After dinner and kids are in bed, the husband is feeling frisky and tries to rub up on momma. She of course gives him the cold shoulder due to his previous remarks. He scratches his head and attempts to rub up on her some more and she again gives him more cold shoulder. Finally he says,
"What gives?". She rolls over and says to him, "What makes you think I am going to fire up this big ol' bbq for just one little wееniе?"

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

“Now, Joseph,” said the teacher to the aggressive youngster, “what do you think your classmates would think of you if you were always kind and polite?”
“They’d think they could beat me up,” promptly responded Joseph.

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Kids Jokes

I have a little nephew. He's two-and-a-half, and he just learned to say those three words, 'I love you.' And he's saying it to everybody now. My sister was like, 'He doesn't understand what it means. He's saying it because he thinks he can get something.' I said, 'Oh, I think he understands exactly what it means.'

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Kids Jokes

I have decided that I am going to stay a virgin throughout my life...
That way I can set an example for my kids.

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Kids Jokes

Kid: What're you looking at?!
Me: At a mistake.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

I have lost my mind!
And I'm pretty sure my kids took it!

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes

I assume the only reason we have them is so that white people feel relevant in sports. Because other than that the only thing the winter Olympics show me is which country has more rich white kids. What's it cost to go skiing -- $900 a day? I can't believe that's not more popular in the inner cities.

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Sports Jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes

I'm not gonna cut the cord. I mean, babies get mixed up or even stolen from hospitals all the time. This is obviously the best way to prevent it. What better way to prove it's your kid than to make sure it's still connected to you? Believe me, I raised four cordless kids -- they were outta control.

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Kids Jokes