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Little Johnny Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Little Johnny and Little Jack were playing the Реnis game, a game where you shout 'реnis' louder and louder.
Little Johnny: Wanna play the реnis game?
Little Jack: Ok
Little Johnny: penis
Little Jack: Penis
Little Johnny: PEnis
Little Jack: PENis
Little Johnny: РЕNIS!
Teacher: LITTLE JOHNNY! GO TO THE FRONT OFFICE, NOW!
Little Johnny: Okay :(
- -2 Minutes Later--
Little Johnny Over the Intercom: РЕNIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Office and Work Jokes Little Johnny Jokes
Teacher asks her class, “What is the animal depicted on a weather vane?”
Little Johnny, the infamous troublemaker, says, “I know, teacher, I know.”
Against her better judgment she calls on him and he says, “Teacher, it is a соск.”
Teacher asks the class, “Why is a соск on a weather vane?”
“I know, I know, teacher,” says Johnny.
“OK, Johnny, Why?”
“Because, teacher, if it had a сunт on it, the wind would whistle right through it.”
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Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes
Little Johnny is not very happy at his nursery school, so the teacher takes him to one side and gives him a nice little cuddle.
After a while, Johnny says,”Do you have тiтs?”
“Of course I do,” says the nursery school teacher. “Every woman has, er, вrеаsтs.”
“Good,” says Little Johnny, “I like тiтs. Do you think you could bring them in with you tomorrow?
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Jokes about Women School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Boob Jokes
This teacher is teaching her grade four class, and she’s telling them that the word of the day is ‘contagious.’ She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands. “Carl,” she says.
Carl says, “My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, ’cause they’re contagious.”
“Very good,” says the teacher.
Then she picks Suzie, who says, “The atmosphere was contagious,” and the teacher says, “Excellent, Suzie!”
Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class.
“Yes, Johnny?” she says. Johnny says, “The other day, me and my dad’s a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, “Jesus, it’s gonna take that c*nt ages to finish that fence.”
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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Blonde Jokes Dad Jokes
Little johnny is watching his father, a minister, prepare his Sunday sermon. "What are you doing?" he asks.
"Preparing my sermon for tomorrow" his father answers.
"But how do you know what to write?" asks little johnny.
"I write what God tells me," was the reply.
Little johnny thinks about this for a second and then asks, "So why do you keep on crossing out?"
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Religion jokes Little Johnny Jokes God Jokes
Little Johnny Jokes
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Little Johnny Jokes
Teacher:
“Are you even paying attention, Johnny? Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!”
Little Johnny:
“Who, me?”
Teacher:
“Wow who knew, very well done.”
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny
The teacher came up to Johnny's desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey.
Johnny said with confidence "the desk".
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Little Johnny Jokes
I asked little Johnny why he started doing so well in math after we sent him to the Christian school.
He said he didn't want to end up like the guy they nailed to the plus sign.
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny is back
In the class the teacher said:
"The first person to answer my question will go home early".
Little Johnny threw his bag outside.
Teacher asked:
"Whose bag is that???"
Johnny answered:
"It's mine....
Bye bye!"
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny:
"Grandma, make a sound like a Frog."
Grandma:
"Why?"
Little Johnny:
"Cause daddy says we'll make a lot of money when you croak."
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny and His Baby Sister
Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day.
Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from.
"From Heaven," replied his mom.
"Well, I can see why they threw her out!"
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny kills a butterfly
His dad says,
"No butter for one week!" Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Dad says,
"No honey for one week!" Mom kills a cockroach. Little Johnny turns to his dad and says,
"Shall I break the news to her?"
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny asked one day, "Mommy can little girls give birth?"
"No son. Of course not"
"Oh OK... Hey Susie! Its OK to keep playing the game now!"
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny told his parent "I'm a grown up now, I am ready to live by myself"
His parent, being very proud of their son, said "Well that's great! We have no reason to stop you"
To which he replied "Awesome! Your luggage is at the front door"
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny walked into class with only one shoe.
The teacher asks Johnny with a chuckle,
“What happened? Did you lose a shoe?”
Johnny looks up and responds,
“No ma’am, I found one.”
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Little Johnny Jokes
Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?
His parents weren't 18 or older.
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little johnny is asked to use the word contagious in a sentence.
My dad was watching my mom cut the grass out the front window.
He was yelling, at the rate she's cutting the grass, It's going to take that contagious.
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny asked his teacher, "should I get in trouble for something I didn't do?"
"Well if you really didn't do it, I think not," said the teacher.
"Well good," little Johnny replied, "because I didn't do my homework."
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Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny calls for his mom
"Mom! Mom!"
"What is it Johnny?"
"Does Grandma know anything about car mechanics?"
"No, why?"
"She's outside, under a bus"
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Little Johnny Jokes
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