Marriage and Family Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!"
His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

Contrary to popular belief, Harry’s mother and father were married.
Not to each other.
But they were married.

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Marriage and Family Jokes

A married couple had gotten into an argument and for many days had not been talking to each other.
Instead they were writing notes back and forth.
One evening the husband walked up to the wife and handed her a note that said, “Wake me up tomorrow at 6 in the morning.”
When he woke up the next morning it was 9.
He immediately got angry with his wife and turned around to speak to her.
On her pillow was a note that said, “Wake up, it’s 6!”

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Marriage and Family Jokes

Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’
Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’
Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’

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Marriage and Family Jokes

I had two women in my bed the other day.
I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lеsвiаn affair.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

They are a fastidious couple.
She’s fast and he’s hideous.

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Marriage and Family Jokes

A couple celebrating their 50th anniversary had many well wishers stop by to congratulate them.
After all of their guest had left, the two settled into recliners.
“Mother,” the man said, “our marriage is tried and true.”
“What’s that you say?” she asked. “You know I can’t hear without my hearing aid.”
“I said, our marriage is tried and true,” he repated, a little louder.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes

There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor.
A white family lives on the top floor.
A mexican family lives on the second floor.
A niggеr family lives on the botom floor.
At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it.
Which family lived?
The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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How was your first marriage terminated?
By death.
And by whose death was it terminated?

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish.
After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred say, "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that.
When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, 'Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?'

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Marriage and Family Jokes Office and Work Jokes

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

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Love Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes Long Jokes

Boy’s father come back from uk & was calling his wife.
Boy:
- papa mom has died.
father slaped boy & said why u dont inform me when i was in America
Boy :
- i thought i will give u a surprise.

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I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.

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Marriage and Family Jokes

I got home and found a man in bed with my wife.
I said, ‘Who said you could sleep with my wife?’
He said, ‘Everybody.’

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

Marriage is bit like having a meal at a self-service buffet: you get exactly what you want, but when you see what another man’s got on his plate you fancy a bit of that as well.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

Tom was a model husband.
Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

What are the similarities between a new wife and a tornado, there's a lot of suckin and blowin and then u lose ur house

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