Men jokes - Page 138

A fат man goes into a fast food restaurant and orders his food. The cashier says that it will be a minute or two for his food. Finally his food is ready. The cashier hands the food to the fат guy and tells him, "Sorry about your weight."

0 0

There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?" And the other one replies,
"I'm having a ball!"

0 0

Food Jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He asks the bartender, "Can I have a cigarette?" The bartender replies,
"Sure, the cigarette machine is over there." So he walks over to the machine and as he is about to order a cigarette, the machine suddenly says,
"Oi, you вlооdy idiот." The man says with surprise in his voice, "That's not very nice." He returns to his bar stool without a cigarette and asks the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender passes the man a bowl of peanuts and the man hears one of the peanuts speak, "Ooh, I like your hair." The man says to the bartender, "Hey, what's going on here? Your cigarette machine is insulting me and this peanut is coming on to me. Why's this?" The bartender replies,
"Oh, that's because the machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementary."

0 0

Insult Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

A man and woman were having sеx. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies,
"Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

0 0

Jokes about Women Insult Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

A man goes to his doctor complaining about migraines. His doctor tells him, "I also suffer from the same ailment. Every time I get one, I give my wife оrаl sеx. When she has an оrgаsм, she tightens her legs around my head which gets rid of the pain. You should try it sometime." Two weeks later on a return visit, the patient tells his doctor, "Your suggestion worked and I'd like to tell you that you have a very nice house."

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office? I can clearly see "you're" nuts....

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Men jokes

While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.”

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

I'm great at Call of Duty. I have big воовs. I make a really good sandwich. Unfortunately , I'm a man.

0 0

Men jokes

Why did Captain Kirk go in to the ladies room?
Because he wanted to go where no man had gone before.

0 0

Men jokes

Fe = Iron.
Male = Man.
Fe + Male = Iron Man.
I have been having sеx with Iron Man.

0 0

Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Chuck Norris pulled the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.

0 0

Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes

There once was a man named Sweeney.
He spilled some gin on his wееniе.
That being uncouth,
He dipped it in vermouth,
And slipped his wife a dry martini.

0 0

Men jokes Sex Jokes Sexist Jokes

A man is only as faithful as his options.

0 0

Men jokes Sexist Jokes

Girl: Did you know they say воовs aren't filled with fат but men's hopes and dreams?
Me: Then men must have low hopes for you.
Girl: Go to hеll.

0 0

Dirty jokes Men jokes Fat Jokes

One day a woman was working at a sреrм bank when an armed and masked robber bursts in demanding money. The woman has no money and says"sir you do realize this is a sреrм bank right?" the man replies "fine then take me to where you keep the sреrм or I will shoot you" the girl directs him to the vault and the man says" I want you to drink one." reluctantly the women drinks the sреrм and the man says "drink another one" so she does after she's done the man pulls off his mask and says"see honey it's not that hard"

0 0

Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sеx for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.
"Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister.
"Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she веnт over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lusт took over."
The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.
"That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

0 0

Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

There was a black man, a Mexican, and an Asian in a car. A gаy cop pulls them over near a rest-stop. The cop says,
"I'll let you guys go if the total of your diскs reaches 10 inches long. Drop some trou' or it's off to the clink."
"Mine is 7", says the black man proudly as he displayed it. "Well done", said the impressed cop. The Mexican pulled down his pants to reveal a 2 and 1/2 incher. The Asian shrieked, "I swear that I have at least a half-inch part! I will not show you it! I never tell a lie!". The cop sniffed, "Fine, I didn't want to see yours anyway".
As the three were driving away, the Asian smirked, "Ha! You both lucky I had воnеr!"

0 0

Dirty jokes Men jokes

One day people boarded an airplane, two hours into the flight the pilot announces they are going to crash and there is no chance for survival. Just after a woman jumps up and asked if there is any man that can make her feel like a woman one last time before she's dies. A man gets up rips off his shirt throws it at her an says here iron this.

0 0

Jokes about Women Men jokes

Three words to ruin a man's ego...? "Is it in?"

0 0

Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

A mom of an eight year old boy is awaiting her son's arrival from school. As he runs in, he says he needs to talk to her about making babies. He claims he knows about the development of a fetus, but doesn't understand the answer to the million dollar question. Namely, how does the sреrм get into the woman? The mom asks the boy what he thinks the answer is. The boy says that the sреrм is manufactured in the man's stomach, rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth, where he then kisses the woman and deposits the sреrм into her mouth. The mom tells her boy that it is a good guess, but it's wrong. She gives him a hint by telling him that the sреrм comes out of the man's реnis. Suddenly, the boy's face becomes quite red and he says,
"You mean you put your mouth on that thing?"

0 0

Jokes about Women School Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes