Men jokes - Page 138

Man: Have I seen you somewhere before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down here
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: If I could see you nакеd, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you nакеd, I'd probably die laughing.

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A Pakistani, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.
"Last night I tried love to my wife but I couldn't get errection. She was in рissеd off this morning..."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian
Responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette
And told me she could never love another man."
When the Anant remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,
"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once." Anant replied.
"Only once?" the Pakistani arrogantly snorted. "And what did she
Say to you this morning?"
"Don't stop."

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Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

WOMAN : if you were my husband id poison your coffee . MAN:if you were my wife id drink it.

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Jokes about Women Insult Jokes Men jokes

Yo momma is so ugly that when the Kool-Aid man broke through her wall he said,
"Oh noooo!"

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Men jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Jokes about Women Insult Jokes Men jokes

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies,
"No. I work for a соndом company. These are customer complaints."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

What do most 50-year-old men put inside there cars
Children

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Men jokes

What do ambulances and gаy men have in common? they both take it in the back and go whoop whoop

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Men jokes

Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

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Men jokes

An airplane is going down cause of too much weight, there was a black man, an asian man, a mexican man, and an american man. Each of them were told to throw something off the plane to lighten the load, the black man threw a couple zebras and lions out saying,"I have too any of those in my country."
The asian threw some fish and rice out, saying"I have too many of that in my country."
The mexican threw some corn and refried beans out saying,"I have too many of that in my country."
The american threw the mexican out and said,"I have way too many of that in my country.

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Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

Girl: If I was your wife, I would poison your drink
Man: if I was your husband I would drink it

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Insult Jokes Men jokes

What do you call a white man surrounded by black men. Coach

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Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

One day the priest lost his rooster. The next day he went on to church and asked everyone "Have any of you seen a соск?" All of the women stand up. Mad he says "Not like that. Do any of you have a соск?" All of the men stand up. Finally infuriated he says "No not like that have any of you seen my соск?" All the little kids stand up.

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Two guys meet:
"Where were you lost my friend? says one of them."
"Well, I took my kids to the zoo..."
"And what kind of animals did you see there?"
"The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...”
"Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”!
"Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Friendship Jokes

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?”
The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”
“Yeah, that’s the one!”

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Men jokes Sex Jokes

A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head.
The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’
‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’
‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman.
‘Oh God. Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right рrат.’

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God Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes

A blond smokes in her yard. The garbage man asks her:
Any garbage today?
Yes, tree sacks please...

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes

What did God say after she made Eve?
"Practice makes perfect."

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Men vs Women Jokes God Jokes Men jokes

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Dad Jokes Sick and Death Jokes