Men jokes

Newest jokes in this category
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.)Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5.)Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiот and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a wom an can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.)Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.
8.)Don’t worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3. Then you RUN!
Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?
Scroll down for the answer…
The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one who really existed
In the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.
Men keep’a scrollin’…
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect
Woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a
Car accident.
By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never frickin listen, either.
Jokes about Women Men jokes Christmas Jokes Sexist Jokes
Jokes about Women Men jokes
Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes
Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
Three strings walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The first string walks up to the bartender and says,
"Bartender, three beers please." The bartender looks at the string and says,
"I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." Disappointed, the string walks back to his buddies and explains. The second string says "No problem, I'll go get our beers." The second string walks up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender says,
"Listen man, I told your buddy that we don't serve strings here." Empty handed, the second string walks back to his buddies. The third string says,
"No problem. Tie me in a knot at one end and fray my ends at the other." He struts up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender proceeds to get him the вееr when he suspiciously turns to look at the string and says,
"Excuse me, but are you a string?" The string replies,
"I'm a frayed knot!"
Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes