Men jokes - Page 59

Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No niggеr could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!

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Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
A. The PGA tour

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Sports Jokes Men jokes Golf jokes Black People Jokes White people jokes

There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window.
The Russian says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a bomb out the window.
Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death."
"I didn't do that" says the Mexican.
The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!"
"I didn't do that" says the American.
Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off.
The Russian says "what's so funny?"
The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Mexican jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Aviation Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes American Jokes

Q: How do 5 gаy men walk?
A: One Direction!

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Men jokes

How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
The hero always gets his man in the end.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

A child walks into a whоrе house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him.
He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have.
She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.”
The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.”
She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.”
The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have.
A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments.
As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way.
Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind.
As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him.
“Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for?
Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain.
“I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Вiтсh who ran over my pet frog.”

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Dad Jokes Jokes about Women Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes Grandparent Jokes

What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.

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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Sex Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Man to a woman:
"Do you know the difference between a вlоwjов and a cheeseburger is?"
Woman:
"No."
Man:
"Lets have lunch sometime…"

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

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God Jokes Men jokes

Man, to friend, ‘A thief has stolen my wife’s credit card.
Last month he ran up a bill of over a thousand pounds.’
‘That’s terrible,’ says the friend.
‘You should report this thief to the police.’
‘I would,’ says the man.
‘But at the moment he’s spending less than my wife does.’

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Money jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Friendship Jokes

A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.
The man said that he actually felt worse.
“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.
“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Food Jokes

The retired man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over.
Everywhere I touch it hurts."
The doctor replies, "OK.
Touch your elbow."
The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain.
The doctor, surprised, then states, "Touch your head."
The guy touches his head and jumps in agony.
The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Everywhere the guy touches he hurts like hеll.
The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. and tells the guy to come back in two days.
Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, "We've found your problem."
"Oh yeah?
What is it?" asks the retiree.
The Doctor remarks, "You've broken your finger!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes

A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop.
After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn't stop, he just slowed down a little.
The gentleman said 'Stop or slow down, what's the difference?'.
The cop pulled the guy out of the car and worked him over for about a minute and then said, 'Would you like for me to stop or just slow down?'

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes

A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey.
He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.
The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks:
'Can your dog perform other tricks?'.
'But of course', the man answers, 'he can even gratify a woman'.
Anxious to know more the girl leads the man and the dog into a little room above the bar.
She undresses and full of expectation she lies down on the bed.
The dog looks at her and does nothing, and the man then shouts to the dog, 'OK.
Just ONE more time, let me show you how it's done".

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Dog jokes

Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain.
She asks the doctor what he has on sale.
"Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100."
Surprised she asks why the price difference?
"Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Military Jokes

Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A. Bonds mature.

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Men jokes

Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes

Two men are having a drink together.
One says, ‘I had sеx with my wife before we were married.
What about you?’
‘I don’t know,’ says the other.
‘What was her maiden name?’

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes

Why do black widow spiders кill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

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Men jokes Animal Jokes