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Men vs Women Jokes

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Lady goes to her doc.
"Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type.
The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
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Old People Jokes Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes Men vs Women Jokes
I'm busy.
You're ugly.
Have a nice day.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under?
A. Because deep down he's a good person.
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak!
They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used.
You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
They last longer and come with a warranty.
You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
They come in fashion colors.
You can keep them in maximum zoom.
They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
The parts that count are portable.
They don’t mind over-exposure.
They respond to the slightest touch.
The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men vs Women Jokes
Men are like..... Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
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Money jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Coffee Jokes
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
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Men jokes Men vs Women Jokes
Two women are digging in the garden. One pulls out a foot-long carrot and says, "This one reminds me of my husband."
The second woman replies, "Your husband's is that long?"
Her friend answers, "No - that dirтy."
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Айше и Фатме събирали цвекло. Морков Моркови Πατάτες και γύφτισες Две циганки отишли на полето за моркови и едната изкарала един доста голям морков и казала на другата: Бригада циганки вадят на полето моркови. Една от тях показва на колежката си току-що изваден морков: Циганки вадят моркови на полето. Една от тях показва на друга какъв морков е извадила: C'est deux vieilles paysannes qui ramassent des patates, à un moment l'une d'elles saisit deux grosses patates pleines de terre et dit à l'autre : - Vingt dieux elle sont comme les couilles de mon Victor ! Alors l'autre répond : - Aussi grosses !? - Non, aussi sales ! 2 paysannes ramassent des patates. La première en saisit deux grosses pleines de terre et dit à l'autre : - Vindiou ! Elles sont comme les couilles de mon mari ! - Aussi grosses ?! - Non, aussi sales ! Huguette et Raymonde sont dans les champs en train de ramasser des patates. Raymonde en ramasse deux, les montre à Huguette et dit : - On dirait les couilles de mon René ! - Aussi grosses ? - Non, mais aussi sales ! Två kärringar gick omkring på grönsaksavdelningen när den ena plockade upp en jättegurka och sa: - Den här ser precis ut som bosses pick! Hennes väninna blev mycket imponerad, och efter ett tag... Twee vrouwen staan in de tuin winterpenen uit de grond te trekken. Zegt de ene : 'Ze lijken wel op die van Gerrit'. Zegt die andere : 'Is die zo groot dan?'. Zegt de ene weer : 'Nee, zo vies.'. Deux vieilles copines sont à ramasser les patates a la campagne. Une d'elle, tenant des juliettes en main, dit: "Tu vois Germaine, ces patates me font penser aux couilles de mon Robert." "Quoi?...
Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes
Q: What's 72?
A: 69 with three people watching.
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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
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Ποια είναι η διαφορά μεταξύ μιας ερωμένης και μιας συζύγου; - Каква е разликата между жената и любовницата? Quelle est la différence entre un dollar et un rouble ? Llega un niño con su papá y le pregunta: ¿Papá, cuál es la diferencia entre esposa y amante? A lo que el papá responde: Pues, como 40 kilos, hijo. - Яка різниця між дружиною і коханкою? - Кілограмів двадцять ... - А яка різниця між чоловіком і коханцем? - Хвилин 30 ... Wat is het verschil tussen je echtgenote en je minnares? Ongeveer 20 kg. Mitä eroa on vaimolla ja rakastajattarella? Yleensä kaksikymmentä vuotta ja yhtä monta kiloa. What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 40 lb. Vad är skillnaden mellan en fru och en flickvän? Svar: 25 kilo ungefär. Quelle est la différence entre une femme et une petite amie ? - 20 kg Quelle est la différence entre un mari et un petit ami ? - 20 minutes Hva er forskjellen på kona og elskerrinnen? - 50 Kg. Care-i diferenta intre sotie si amanta? =de vreo 25kg= - Dar intre sot si amant? =de 45 minute= - Jaka jest różnica między żoną a kochankiem? - 30 kg. A między mężem a kochankiem? - 30 minut. Hvad er forskellen på konen og elskerinden? Det er 30 kg. Qual a diferença entre a esposa e a namorada? R:trinta quilos
Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision?
A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Divorce Jokes
Q: Why are so many blondes rushing out to get вrеаsт implants?
A: They don't want to pay the flat tax.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
What do LifeSavers do that men can't?
Come in 5 flavors!
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Men vs Women Jokes Gross Jokes Men jokes Life Jokes
Q: How do сrавs leave the hospital?
A: On crutches.
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Men vs Women Jokes Gross Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
A: She was trying to make up her mind.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots.
They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They sсrеw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.
"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.
"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.
"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Food Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes
Q: Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
A: They don't have any ваlls to scratch.
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Pourquoi les femmes se grattent-elles la tête au réveil ? Parcequ'elles n'ont pas de couilles. -Dlaczego kobieta przeciąga się rano jak wstanie? - Bo się nie może po jajach podrapać. Hvorfor gnider kvinder sig i øjnene, nar de vågner? – Fordi de ikke har nosser, de kan klø sig i Perche’ le donne si stropicciano gli occhi quando si svegliano al mattino ? Perche’ non hanno palle da grattarsi.
Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women
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