Men vs Women Jokes

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Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea.
The second also asks for tea.
"And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter.
When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Restaurant Jokes

A guy has a talking dog.
He brings it to a talent scout.
"This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent.
"Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?"
"Roof!" the dog replies.
"Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds.
"All dogs go ‘roof’."
"No, wait," the guy says.
He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?"
"Rough!" the dog answers.
The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare.
He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says.
"This one will amaze you.
" He turns and asks the dog:
"Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth!" goes the dog.
And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.
And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

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Office and Work Jokes Sports Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Dog jokes

What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Why do men like маsтurватiоn?
It's sеx with someone they love.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes

A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room.
"Doctor, doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left вrеаsт, she sighed!"
"That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and touch her right вrеаsт. See if she reacts."
A few minutes later, the man rushes out again:
"Doctor, she moaned!"
"Very good," says the doctor.
"Now try оrаl sеx.
She should certainly react to that!"
Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a sheet.
"Doctor -- she died."
"No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims.
"Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."

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Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...
On a broomstick.
We're flexible like that.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future:
Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future.
Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

MEN Vs WOMEN
1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup.
2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip.
3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery.
4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Men jokes

A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider.
"Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks.
"To take away the pain," sobs the little girl.
"What do you mean?" the teacher asks.
"Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a рriск in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."

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Men vs Women Jokes School Jokes

A blonde's house was on fire, so she called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"
The operator said, "OK, calm down, and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"
The blonde replied, "Duh, in that big red truck!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.
"I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband.
"But sir, what about the mad соw?" asks the waiter.
"Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."

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Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer?
A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

Man: You've brought religion into my life.
Woman: Really? How?
Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Неll.

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A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her вrеаsт and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a вrа for me."
Then the husband pats her вuтт and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without раnтiеs for me."
The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little вiggеr, I wouldn't need your brother."

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Q: What do men in a singles bar have in common?
A: They're all married.

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Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?
A: Because the sun was out.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why is it when a man talks nasty to a women it's sеxuаl harassment.
But when a women talks nasty to a man it's $3.99 a minute.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Men jokes

Q: What's the difference between a man and a pig?
A: There's a difference?

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Alex an Aussie builder was going through a house he had just built for the woman who owned it.
She was telling him what colour to paint each room.
They went into the first room and she said "I want this room to be painted a light blue."
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be bright red.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be tan.
The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
When he came back, the lady was pretty curious, so she asked him "I keep telling you colours, but you go out the front and yell 'green side up' - what is that for?"
The builder said, "Oh don't worry about that, I've just got a couple of Kiwi's laying the turf out front."

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