Military Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I don’t like the word gun
Whenever I say it people always get triggered

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Military Jokes

My doctor said “you have 1year to live”
I said " you wanna bet"
Bam a gun shot

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Military Jokes

My girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time

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Military Jokes

What is it called when Bill Cosby and a illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator

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Military Jokes

Voting quarterfinal 3:
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke

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Military Jokes

Things you never want to do in jail

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Military Jokes Police Officer Jokes

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn’t need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. “What’s so funny?”, he asks.
“Daddy farted and the house blew up,” said a singed little boy.

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Military Jokes

A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!

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Military Jokes

I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnam grandfather that world war 3 started

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Military Jokes

I’m telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the мurdеr hornets, and the second American revolution

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Military Jokes

How did Нiтlеr tie is tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.

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Military Jokes

In normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade “refresh yourself with a cold war.”

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Military Jokes

Commander:
"Fire a warning shot"
Soldier:
"Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher"
Commander:
"Potato, potato, just fire"
Soldier: fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school
Commander:
“They’re trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!”

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Military Jokes

What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common

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Military Jokes

Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They’ll end up only throwing the pin.

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Military Jokes

What do you call a gаy grenade
A fragett

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Military Jokes

What is your arms favorite military branch? The army.

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Military Jokes

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!

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Military Jokes

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive!
This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)

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Military Jokes

Don’t make Iran jokes my mom died by an rocket lancer, She was the best Sharpe shorter in the Iran army.

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Military Jokes