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One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes.
The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100."
The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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Money jokes One-Liner Jokes Banker Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Q: What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
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What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? You hear about them all the time, but you never see one. Qu'est-ce que les ovnis et les hommes intelligents ont en commun ? - Tout le monde en parle et personne ne les a jamais vus. Vad är det för skillnad på en smart blondin och ett UFO? Det finns folk som sett UFOn Hva har smarte blondiner og UFOer til felles? Du har hørt om dem, men ikke sette dem. Mitä yhteistä on ufoilla ja viisailla blondeilla? Sellaisista aina kuulee, mutta niitä ei koskaan näe. Mitä eroa on viisaalla blondilla ja ufolla? – Ufoista on tehty havaintoja. Mi a különbség az ufó és egy okos szőke nő között? Ufót, már állítólag láttak Care este asemanarea dintre o blonda inteligenta si OZN-uri?Auzi de ele,dar nu le vezi niciodata.
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
“How did the policeman catch the grave robber? He crypt up on him.”
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One-Liner Jokes Police Officer Jokes
I think they named oranges before they named carrots. What are these? Those are orange: oranges. What about these? Oh, sh*t. Long pointies? Well go by shape now?
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One-Liner Jokes
Comedys a tough job, man. Ive got friends who got cool jobs. One of my friends, hes a роrnо star. Guess how he got discovered? This girl sat on his lap, and she was like, Ooh, you should do роrnо! Same girl sat on my lap and was like, Ooh, you should tell jokes!
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One-Liner Jokes
Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes Insurance Comedy
Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer? A: She forgot the recipe.
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Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Ice Cubes Blondes & Ice Cubes Why are blondes constantly running out of ice? A: They forgot the recipe. ¿Por qué en Galicia no hacen más cubitos de hielo?. ¿Por qué razón las rubias no pueden hacer cubitos de hielo? Se les olvida la receta! ¿Por qué las mujeres no pueden hacer hielo? Porque no se saben la receta. Warum haben Blondinen keine Eiswürfel im Gefrierschrank? Sie haben das Rezept verloren. Pourquoi ils n'ont pas de glaçons en Belgique? - Ils ont perdu la recette Pourquoi les blondes ne savent-elles pas faire les glaçons? Elles n'ont pas la recette. Γιατί οι πόντιοι σταμάτησαν να φτιάχνουν παγάκια το 1981; Τα παγάκια. Η συνταγή - Dlaczego blondynki nie potrafią zrobić kostek lodu? - Bo ciągle zapominają przepisu. In de belgische horeca hebben ze geen ijsblokjes meer. Ze zijn het recept kwijt. Hvorfor kan man ikke få isterninger i Århus? - De kender ikke opskriften! Hvorfor kan blondiner ikke lave isterninger? – De glemmer opskriften fra gang til gang Hvordan kan det være at man ikke få isterninger i Århus? – Fordi ham, som har opskriften er rejst væk. Hvorfor finnes det ikke isbiter i Svergie? - Jo, fordi de har ikke oppskriften.
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Chuck Norris died this morning. But don't worry, he's completely fine now.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A high school student stared thoughtfully at the second question on his exam, which read, “State the number of tons of coal shipped out of America in any given year.”
Suddenly, his brow cleared, and he wrote, “1492: None.”
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School Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Did ya hear about the blonde who brought a bag of frozen french fries to a poker game? Someone told her to bring her own сhiрs.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Question: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other? Answer: An air mattress.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
My mother and my girlfriend are wearing the same perfume, which is weird because, all of a sudden, Im attracted to my girlfriend.
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One-Liner Jokes
What does the left leg of a blonde say to her right leg?
Nothing they have never met.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
I cant seal the deal in my dreams. I hit on women in real life and theyre like, In your dreams. Im like, No. Not even there.
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One-Liner Jokes
My last girlfriend used to call my реnis what I thought was a big, powerful, scary nickname. She was calling it a weapon of mass destruction. Sounded cool, but then I found out she was calling it that because she thought my реnis was really hard to find.
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One-Liner Jokes
It was so cold today I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
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Тази сутрин беше толкова студено, че дори видях политик с ръце в собствените си джобове. Тия дни навън е толкова студено, It’s so cold I saw a socialists 30 degrees... It was so cold out today that even the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets. Do you know how cold the weather was today? It was so cold, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets. Ayer hacía tanto frío que hasta vi a un político con las manos en SUS propios bolsillos... Era un país tan frío, tan frío, tan frío, que los abogados tenían las manos en SUS bolsillos. En kväll var det SÅ kallt så jag såg en advokat med händerna i sina EGNA fickor. Spørgsmål: - Er det koldt udenfor? Svar: - Det tror jeg. Jeg så en advokat med hænderne i sine egne lommer! Pernai žiemą buvo taip šalta, kad seimo nariai, buvo pastebėti, rankas laikantys savo nuosavose kišenėse.
Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
A blonde walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I'm horribly sick!"
The doctor looks at her and asks, "Flu?"
"No, I drove here."
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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A blonde bought some goldfish, but she did not know how to feed them.
She called her brunette friend for help. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, ''Now, what do I give them to drink?''
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Friendship Jokes
You Silly Blonde. Don't You Get It?
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.
"Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside.
"No, but it's okay - I got the license plate number!"
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Friendship Jokes
What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot
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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes
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